BeavisUh, wait a minute, wait a minute...ooh, I've seen these guys before.
No you haven't, Beavis, we've never seen this.
Beavis
Yes I have. AAH!! Like, I've been having nightmares about these guys. What is this??? Come on, Butt-head, change it, this is freaking me out.
Beavis
[a Bubbleman stares at the television] AAAHH, LOOK, HE'S LOOKING AT ME!!
How can you be scared of these guys?
Beavis
You don't understand, Butt-head. You haven't seen what these guys do. I have these nightmares, it's like they tie me to a chair, and then it's like, they dance around me and look at me going "Doing doing doing doing doing", and then they get medieval on my ass. [a Bubbleman waves] AAAH, HE'S WAVING AT ME!! And it's like, they're smiling because they know what they're gonna do to me. And you know what else freaks me out? It's like, they have nads on their heads, see? [the Bubblemen dance onto a stage with microphones] See, they're just dancing around now, but pretty soon, they're gonna do it.
Beavis, those aren't nads. Those are like, uh, antennas.
Beavis
Well, how do you know there aren't like, nads inside the antennas? [the Bubblemen are now playing with a beach ball] AAAH NO, NOT THE BEACH BALL!!!! NO!! AAAAAAGGGGGHHH!!! Besides, it's like, I think they use those antennas to receive evil messages.
Beavis
Oh good, I think it's over. Ahh.
The Bucketheads, The Bomb
Beavis
Whoa, is this supposed to be a dream?
Uhh...no, this dude really lives like this.
Beavis
Whoa, that's cool.
It's like, if you were scoring with two chicks at the same time in real life, what would you dream about? Cause all I dream about now is scoring.
Beavis
Well, if I was scoring with two chicks at the same time in real life, then I would dream about scoring with three chicks. And if I was scoring with three chicks, I'd dream about scoring with, um...FOUR! Four chicks!
And then if I had five chicks at the same time, I'd just put my face in all their buttcheeks and go blblblblblb.
[a shot of a woman's butt in tight pants is shown]
Whoa! Her butt looks better in pants than most chicks butts look naked.
Beavis
[quickly] Her butt looks better in pants than most chicks butts look naked. Her butt looks better in pants than most chicks butts look naked. Her butt looks better in pants than most chicks butts look naked.
Built to Spill, In the Morning
Beavis
You know what this dude looks like? This dude looks like that chick. That tennis player...Monica Phallus.
How come you know so much about tennis all of a sudden?
Beavis
Um, well you know, I like to watch the Wilbumdon. Oh, and also, there's this chick, and her name is ‘Stiffy.'
Beavis
You know, this part right here, this was already in another video. Was it...[sings]...Stand in the place where you live...yeah, that's what this was in!
Uhh...yeah, I think everything in this video was in another video.
Beavis
Oh yeah. It's like everything you see in this video was in another video.
Kate Bush, Love and Anger
Oh no, what is this crap?
Beavis
Yeah, why is she just sitting there?
Beavis
Just like, just stand up and get out of there.
I wish she would stand up and leave.
Beavis
And I wish the music would stop too.
Yeah. Just because we have to sit through this crap doesn't mean she can too!
[Glitter begins to fall on her]
Beavis
Hey look, Butt-head! They're throwing a bunch of crap on her!
Yeah! And she still won't get up.
Beavis
Maybe she's inside one of those things, you know like when you shake it and there's a snowman in it and stuff comes down?
Oh yeah. I like to break those.
Beavis
Yeah. Me too. I like to break just about anything.
Beavis
Hey check out those guys!
Oh yeah. Mr. Bungholio and his twirling fartknockers.
Beavis
Yeah. It's like someone said, "Okay, this sucks. I think it's time to bring out Mr. Bungholio and his twirling buttknockers."
Uh...that's fartknocker, Beavis.
This is what happens when, like, old people try to rap.
Beavis
Hey, didn't this guy, like, already do this song before?
Oh yeah. But he has long hair now.
Beavis
You mean, like, every time you grow your hair long, you have to do all your songs over again?
No. That's not what I said. [raps] And you may ask yourself!
Beavis
And you may spank yourself!
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile!
Beavis
And you may find yourself, in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife! And you may ask her, "Where's the bathroom at?"
Uhh, check it out! An Indian!
Beavis
You know, something I've always wondered about Indians, are they Mexicans?
Beavis
Yeah?
Remember, you asked that question in Social Studies, and the teacher sent you to the principal's office?
Beavis
Oh yeah, yeah. And the principal didn't know either!
Uh, do you know what "Cage the Elephant" means?
Beavis
Oh yeah, like um, choking your chicken?
Beavis, you think everything means that! But uh, in this case, it does.
[laughing and a shot of a very content face is shown]
Beavis and Butt-Head · 2,204 quotes