Smart Beavis quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

Butt-head

Whoa! This is that chick with those big hooters!

Beavis

Yeah, yeah, yeah! Yeah! [imitating Dolly Parton] WORKING NINE TO FIVE! IT'S THE WAY TO MAKE A LIVING!

Butt-head

Shut up, Beavis!

I know I've got some stiff competition...

Butt-head

Stiff competition?

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. She's talking about us. Yeah.

Butt-head

Hey, Beavis. This just goes to show you that some things never go out of style.

Beavis

You mean, like, country music?

Butt-head

No, dumbass! I mean big hooters.

Beavis

Oh yeah.

Butt-head

This is like, one of those commercials where you don't know what it's for.

Beavis

Yeah, what is it for?

Butt-head

I think it's that one where guy's like, "When disaster strikes, you want to be covered."

Beavis

No no, that one has that guy who used to be president before Obama.

Butt-head

Oh, it's another one of those boner drug commercials.

Beavis

Oh yeah yeah.

Butt-head

"Everyday, millions of Americans can't get wood."

Beavis

"Ask your doctor is Levitan is right for you. Side effects may kick ass."

Butt-head

"Levitan may cause excessive vomiting, double vision, blurriness, dizziness, confusion..."

Beavis

"And a boner that goes on for four hours."

Butt-head

That would be cool.

Butt-head

Whoa! She's almost naked!

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. And she has nails coming out of her arms.

Butt-head

This chick's a good singer 'cause she hardly wears any clothes.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. And she's holding a bomb.

Butt-head

Chicks are cool.

Butt-head

This video has, like, explosions, and like, half-naked chicks.

Beavis

Yeah. And fire!

Butt-head

Yeah. And TVs getting smashed, and screaming. It's got something for everyone.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah.

YES! YES!

Butt-head

YES!

Beavis

FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!

Butt-head

Now that really was cool!

Beavis

Yeah!

Butt-head

Uh, what's she so pissed off about?

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. "Look at all you people with your, with your grilled cheese sandwiches, and your, your milk and your vitamin D. It fills me with rage!"

Beavis

These people don't seem too into it.

Butt-head

Yeah, they're like, "Another band raged through here yesterday. We're all raged out."

Beavis

"Yeah, but did they go through the library, the cafeteria?"

Butt-head

"Yup. Same route. The cafeteria, the gym, they showed up the cheerleaders..."

Beavis

Whoa! Is that Little Wayne?

Butt-head

Yeah. He's like, "I was just back in the teacher's lounge grading papers. What's going on out here?" I wish our guidance counselor was as cool as Little Wayne.

Beavis

Yeah, he'd be like "Have you considered stackin' papers and gettin' paid? You know what I'm sayin'?"

Butt-head

"Have you thought about face tattoos and sipping sizzurp?"

Beavis

So um, how did this chick get Little Wayne to be in her video?

Butt-head

Uh, maybe it was like part of his community service?

Beavis

Oh, yeah yeah. It was probably like, either that or pick up trash.

Butt-head

Yeah. And he did pick up trash.

Butt-head

What's with all these squares?

Beavis

Orange squares suck.

Butt-head

If I wanted to learn about geometry, I'd go to school.

Beavis

Geometry's not about squares. It's about triangles and stuff.

Butt-head

I meant advanced geometry.

Beavis

These guys sure got wimpy.

Butt-head

Shut up, fartknocker! These guys are cool!

Beavis

Oh yeah.

Butt-head

"Jesus Christ of the Lord, God on High, thank you for making me Post Malone."

Beavis

"Thank you for making me rich, and have lots of chicks too. Amen."

Beavis

Whoa! Whoa, he doesn't have any armor on his schlong! It's just wide open! And his testes too!

Butt-head

Boy, he just doesn't care about his weiner.

Beavis

Yeah yeah. "An evil rises in Mordor, but Post Malone shall not wear any armor on his schlong!"