Smart Beavis quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

Butt-head

Why is that guy eating dinner with those old people?

Beavis

Yeah. Maybe he's in trouble.

Butt-head

Whoa! He's got a comb in his back pocket.

Butt-head

These guys are pretty cool for a bunch of mimes.

Beavis

Yeah. These mimes are cool 'cause they, like, makes lots of noise and scream.

Butt-head

I hate it when you're, like, at the fair...

Beavis

Yeah.

Butt-head

...and some mime comes up and gets in your face and doesn't say anything. I usually kick 'em in the nads.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah, that's when they start saying stuff. They say stuff like, "AHH! AHH! AHH! AHH! AHH! AHH! AHH!"

Butt-head

KISS is cool!

Beavis

Yeah. When's he gonna spit some blood?

Butt-head

I like when he sticks his long tongue out. [Gene Simmons sticks his tongue out] Yes!

Beavis

Yeah.

Butt-head

Warm it up, Kris!

Beavis

Yeah. Warm it up, Kris! Warmer! With fire!

Beavis

Hey Butt-head, which one's Kross?

Butt-head

Kross is the Mac Daddy. And Kris is the Daddy Mac.

Beavis

Who do you think would win in a fight between Daddy Mac and the Mac Daddy?

Butt-head

I don't know. But they could both kick Axl's ass.

Beavis

Yeah. That would be cool if Axl got his ass kicked by a couple of 12-year-olds!

Butt-head

Damn it. I'm sick of seeing videos in schools.

Beavis

Yeah. Really.

Butt-head

If I wanted to see a video in school, I'd go to school and watch TV.

Beavis

Yeah, that's not a bad idea.

Butt-head

Heavy metal has come a long way.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. Really.

Butt-head

Cool. Chicks.

Beavis

Yeah. I mean, even though the chicks are cool, it's like, the video still sucks.

Butt-head

Yeah. Really.

Butt-head

This is disgusting, Beavis.

Beavis

Yeah. It's sickening.

Butt-head

Look at this guy.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah.

Butt-head

Look at his face.

Beavis

Look at his hair.

Butt-head

Yeah. Look at his head.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. His whole head sucks.

Butt-head

Yeah. His chest is no picnic, either.

Beavis

He looks like Horshack.

Butt-head

Yeah. With Epstein's hair.

Butt-head

Is this The Bangles?

Beavis

No, it's The Go-Go's.

Butt-head

There are like, grudge chicks.

Beavis

Yeah. Grubby chicks are cool.

Beavis

I'm gonna get a ring in my nose.

Butt-head

I had ringworm in my nose once. It was pretty cool.

Beavis

Yeah. I remember.

Butt-head

Hey, Beavis. Let's pretend we're dead.

Beavis

Yeah. That would be cool.

Old Beavis

Yeah! Yeah, here we go, yeah!

Old Butt-head

Yeah!

Old Beavis

Ow! Ugh! Ow... ah... why did we use to do that?

Old Butt-head

Uh, I don't know.

I don't give a goddamn!

Old Beavis

I DON'T GIVE A GOD-DAAAAMN!

About your demands!

Old Beavis

Uh, I didn't catch that. He doesn't give a goddamn about what?

Old Butt-head

Uh, about, uh, dumb ass, or something.

Old Beavis

No, I think it was, um, I think he said, uh... eh... it doesn't matter.

Old Butt-head

These are like, the best lyrics I've ever not been able to understand.