Smart Butt-head quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

Beavis

Wait wait wait, I think I can see something. I THINK I CAN SEE THE SIDE OF HER BOOB!

Butt-head

I think that's just a koala bear.

Beavis

Oh yeah. Sorry. You know something? I wish these girls were naked, and um, I wish they were right here without any clothes on, and I wish I was grabbing their butt, and that's about it.

Butt-head

Uh...okay then.

Butt-head

Uhh, something's wrong. It's like, it doesn't look like this guy would have this kind of voice.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah, it's like, it doesn't look like that kind of voice would come out of that guy, you know what I'm saying?

Butt-head

Yeah. It looks like it might come out of his butt.

Beavis

Actually, I was thinking like, it looks like this kind of voice, like, would come out of Godzilla, or maybe it'd come out of Godzilla's butt.

Butt-head

If it did come out of Godzilla's butt, that would be a good video.

Beavis

Whoa look, check it out Butt-head, it's a dead horse!

Butt-head

Yeah. Remember that time we found that dead horse?

Beavis

Oh yeah. We like ran and jumped on his stomach, and then like, all that gunk shot out of his butt.

Butt-head

Yeah. That was cool.

Beavis

Oh yeah. That was sad. Imagine if Godzilla was dead, imagine all the stuff that would fly out of his butt.

I feel like such an ass.

Butt-head

Yeah. I feel like an ass too. Beavis, go out and get me an ass, please.

Beavis

Okay. Would you like some boobs to go with that ass too?

Beavis

AAH! What was that? What's going on?!

Butt-head

You wuss! That's just a chick screaming.

Beavis

They should warn you if they're gonna do that crap, dammit.

Butt-head

Whoa! This song's about like, some chick doing it with like, some other chick's boyfriend.

Beavis

Yeah! That's pretty harsh.

Butt-head

Yeah. So like, this chick will only do yo if you like, already have a girlfriend...?

Beavis

Yeah, yeah! A lot of chicks are like that. They don't wanna go out with you unless you already have a girlfriend...but like, you can't get a girlfriend because you don't have a girlfriend...so it's like...struss-frating.

Beavis

Dammit, what's going on here? This chick is talking! Is this a commercial or a video? What is this?!

Butt-head

Beavis, just shut up, and like...free your mind or something.

Beavis

I wanna know what it is...like, I can't pay attention to this!

Butt-head

Dammit Beavis, can't you just like...cool out and listen?

Beavis

Dammit Butt-head, what kind of crap are you talking? You sound like a damn hippie!

Butt-head

Beavis, I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that. I'm not gonna smack you today.

Butt-head

Maps.

Beavis

Yeah, remember that time that guy came into Burger World 'cause he was lost? And you, like, drew a map with, like, ketchup and french fries and pickles!

Butt-head

Oh yeah. I was just making stuff up!

Beavis

Yeah, you were like, "Okay, you see, you go right down here and then you turn left, and then see this pickle, this is like a big building".

Butt-head

Yeah. He believed me!

Beavis

He was like goin': "Uh huh, okay, uh hmm".

Beavis

Hey Butt-head, you know like sometimes when we get rides home, you know it's like, a lot of dude's, and they're all stuffed in the back seat like that?

Butt-head

Uh, yeah?

Beavis

Um, is it normal to get wood?

Butt-head

Beavis, you boner popping pervert! It's not even normal to ask!

Beavis

Oh, okay!

Beavis

Whoa, is this a demolition derby?

Butt-head

Uh, yeah! I think it is. Demolition derbies kick ass!

Beavis

Yeah, yeeeeeaaaaahhhh! Y'know, I can't think of anything, that kicks as much ass, as a demolition derby! Yeah!

Butt-head

Yeah. Does your mom still go out to Sunset Speedway and watch those?

Beavis

Yeah, yeah, yeah! "SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY! SUNSET SPEEDWAY PRESENTS THE DUKES OF DIRT, DERBYYYYY! THE BARONS OF FAST, THE KINGS OF CRASH, IT'S A SMASH UP DERBY SPECTACULAR, WITH CHILLS, THRILLS, AND BONE CRUNCHING SPILLS! Ticket price pays for the whole seat, BUT YOU'LL ONLY NEED THE EEEEDDDDDDGGGEEEE! WHHHHAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!"

Butt-head

Shut up, Beavis. Your voice is too high to do that. [in a very high pitched voice] "Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!"

Beavis

Shut up, butthole! Check this out, [in a deeper voice] "Sunday, Sunday, Sundaaayyyy!"

Butt-head

You have a high voice, Beavis!

Beavis

SHUT UP, BUTT-HEAD, I don't talk like that!

Beavis

Cool! Fire! Fire! FIRE!!!

Butt-head

What's wrong with you, Beavis? This sucks. Just because you have fire in your video doesn't mean you're cool.

Beavis

Yeah, but the fire itself is pretty cool.

Butt-head

No way, Beavis. Vince Neil's a wuss.

Butt-head

Mötley Crüe fired this dude.

Beavis

They fired him. FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!

Butt-head

Tommy Lee should have shoved a drumstick up his butt.

Beavis

Yeah. That would've been cool.

She's a knockdown, drag it out, pick it up, do it again...

Beavis

She's a knockdown, drag it out, pick it up, do it again...?

Butt-head

What does that mean? Who writes this crap?

Beavis

Yeah. This sucks.

Butt-head

Those drums sound cool.

Beavis

Yeah. [Imitates drum sound]

Butt-head

Shut up, Beavis! I wonder what that drummer's listening to.

Beavis

He's probably listening to Pantera.

Butt-head

Yeah. Okay dude, get started. Put down your arms and start singing!

Beavis

Yes! Yes!

Butt-head

Rock! [Beavis and Butt-head do their signature headbanging]