Butt-headWhoa! She's got a small, furry animal in her mouth.
Butt-head
This chick was married to that dude who would punch you if you took his picture.
Yeah...that Woody Allen dude.
Butt-head
No, assmunch! Woody Allen's the dude who went out with his daughter.
Oh yeah. Hey Butt-head, if you were a chick, would you like, go out with your stepdad?
Butt-head
Uh...not if his name was Woody.
Yeah. What if his name was Stiffy?
Butt-head
Uh...well...maybe. Stiffy Allen. Whoa! She's almost naked! That gives me a special feeling on my Woody Allen.
Madonna, Secret
You know, I sure would like to do Madonna.
Butt-head
Yeah, me too! I'd like to have sex with her. That would rule! Check it out. Madonna's always having sex with herself in these videos.
Yeah, that's what I meant too. That would kick ass!
Butt-head
Madonna looks pretty normal here.
Yeah, really. She just looks like a normal, white-haired old lady walking down the street to get some groceries. You know what I'm saying?
Butt-head
Uh...yeah. But, you know, for a white-haired old lady, she still looks pretty good.
Oh yeah! You know, I'd do her...
Butt-head
Beavis, you'd do your old white-haired grandma if you had the chance.
No way, Butt-head! My grandma's got brown, kinda purple hair.
Butt-head
Madonna's always like...masturbating during her videos.
Butt-head
Yeah, but like, when she masturbates, she's still doing it with Madonna, but when you spank your monkey, you're just having sex with Beavis!
Marilyn Manson, Get Your Gunn
Whoa! I think he's saying "Get your gun."
Butt-head
Uh...I think this is one of those "Stop the violence" things...you know, like enough is enough.
You know, they really should um, stop the violence, because sometimes it hurts, you know? It's like, maybe you like, gave peace a chance, and like...[Butt-head smacks Beavis] OW! CUT IT OUT, BUTT-HEAD!
Butt-head
Shut up, Beavis! I'm trying to watch this! [Beavis kicks Butt-head in the testicles] UUHH! Dammit, Beavis!
Dammit Butt-head! I'm just trying to say, you know, that if they stopped the violence...[Butt-head slaps Beavis again]
Butt-head
Now quit acting like a damn wuss, Beavis, or I'm gonna get medieval on your ass!
Marilyn Manson, Long Hard Road Out of Hell
Butt-head
Uh...boy, Cher has sure gone downhill.
Yeah, yeah, really! It's like, her boobs have gotten smaller, and she's like...all weird...
Butt-head
Yeah, but that's like, when you get old, you get this thing called mentopause, and like, your boobs go away, and like, your butt swells up...
Whoa, really? You know, I think that might be happening to me, Butt-head!
Butt-head
Dammit Beavis, pull your pants up!
Butt-head
Uh...wait a minute. This isn't Cher.
Oh yeah. Yeah, you're right, it's Charles Manson!
Butt-head
No, dumbass. It's Marilyn Manson.
Oh. Really? Um, where have I heard that name? Charles Manson...
Butt-head
You know all these people in this video? They're all like, part of this Manson dude's family, and then they like, do it with each other, and then they like, go out and kill people and cut their ears off and stuff?
Butt-head
Yeah, and like, this is how they like, spend Thanksgiving. They sit around and get naked and scream.
You know, I've seen a lot of stuff, but this is really just disturbing, and just really wrong, and this is just bad.
Butt-head
These people are messed up.
I got a pamphlet I'd like these guys to read. You know what I'm saying?
Butt-head
They're all gonna spend an eternity in Hell.
Butt-head
How does he make it, so like, you can't see his schlong?
Oh, it's easy, Butt-head. You push it down to your taint and you tape it to your buttcrack with duct tape. I've done it before.
Butt-head
Uh...why did you tape your wiener to your buttbrack, Beavis?
Um...I don't know, I wanted to try it, I thought maybe it'd save time.
Butt-head
Uh...wait a minute, Beavis. That's a dude! [Beavis screams] You want to make love to a dude, Beavis!
Shut up, Butt-head! Shut up! You said you wanted to do him too!
Butt-head
No I didn't, Beavis.
Yes you did! You said "Yeah, I wanna do her, come to Butt-head!"
Butt-head
No, I didn't, Beavis! Shut up before I kick you a new bunghole! [singing] Beavis wants to make love to a dude...
SHUT UP, BUTT-HEAD! Whoa, it's Matt Pinfield!
Butt-head
You wanna do it with him too, Beavis?
SHUT UP, BUTT-HEAD! I'm serious! I'm gonna haul off and kick you in the nads!
Butt-head
[Laughs] Beavis is a lesbian.
MC 900 Ft. Jesus, If I Only Had a Brain
[Beavis hums along with the bassline]
Butt-head
Check it out, this dumbass is trying to mail himself. Beavis...cut it out, Beavis. Dammit Beavis, cut it out. Uhh, that'd be cool if, like, I could, like, mail myself. I could put a stamp on my butt and say, like, "Take me to somewhere cool". Beavis, shut up.
[still humming along] Higher!
Butt-head
Beavis, do you hear me? Shut up! Shut up, Beavis! Beavis, if you don't stop that right now, I'm gonna smack you upside the head!
[sings along] Still be here with you...
Butt-head
I'm gonna give you three seconds, Beavis! What the hell's the matter with you, Beavis? [smacks Beavis]
OOOWW!! [resumes humming along]
Butt-head
Beavis, do you hear me? [smacks Beavis again] Shut up!
AH! OW! [resumes humming along]
Butt-head
Remember that time you turned that jack-in-a-box into a crap-in-the-box? That was cool. Uhh, Beavis? Beavis?
[singing along] Higher, higher!
Butt-head
Beavis! What's your problem, Beavis? I said stop it! [fed up with this, Butt-head hums along. Beavis stops humming along.]
Bobby McFerrin, Don't Worry, Be Happy
Beavis and Butt-Head · 2,204 quotes