Smart Butt-head quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

Butt-head

Don't worry, Beavis, be happy.

Beavis

Shut up, Butt-head! I'm not worried.

Butt-head

Oh yeah? Does this worry you? [smacks Beavis]

Beavis

AAH!! I'm gonna play drums on your nads with my foot!

Butt-head

I'd like to see you try, butt-knocker!

Beavis

Don't call me that, Butt-head! [kicks Butt-head in the testicles]

Butt-head

UUH! I'm gonna play drums on your face, buttknocker!

Butt-head

Okay, the fight's over! I won.

Beavis

No you didn't, Butt-head! I won.

Beavis

Whoa, check it out, it's Mrs. Doubt-FIRE!

Butt-head

Oh yeah.

Beavis

I don't think that guy's very funny.

Butt-head

Yeah. It's like, he tries to talk really fast, so you won't notice that he's not very funny.

Beavis

I think he was funny, like, a long time ago, when it was, like, really fast.

Beavis

Yes! Yes!

Butt-head

Cool!

Beavis

This rules, Butt-head, check this out!

Los ticka toe rest...

Butt-head

What? I can't understand what he's saying.

Beavis

What's your problem, dumbass? He's saying, like, um...

...sender bright like a penelty...

Beavis

Done brine like a pelty? Yeah, that's cool.

Beavis

See, like, right here, he says, uh...

Exi-tease my ray day member half lost a beat away...

Beavis

Um, exit is my raging member, ban on a TV.

Butt-head

These words rule!

Beavis

Yeah, yeah yeah yeah! Rock!

Beavis

Hey Butt-head, if they X-rayed your wiener, would they see a bone?

Butt-head

If you had a boner, they would.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. That would be cool.

Butt-head

Water is cool.

Beavis

Yeah. We should go to somebody's pool, and like, go inside it, and like, go underwater, and just rock out! [sings along] Like a stinky photographing on a wire relay in a state of!

Butt-head

Is this Michael Jackson?

Beavis

I think it's that bee from that Blind Melon video.

Butt-head

Dammit, I'm sick and tired of seeing crap like this.

Beavis

That'd be cool, if Robin Hood came and shot these guys with an arrow. Yeah, yeah, YEAH, YEAH YEAH!

Butt-head

Rock on, Beavis!

We can dance, we can dance...

Butt-head

This butthole keeps saying he can dance, but it's like...he can't dance.

Beavis

Yeah, they need to go to a Pantera concert to learn how to dance.

Butt-head

They'd get their butts slammed around.

Beavis

Yeah, they'd get their butts kicked. And if I was there, I'd start kicking that one guy in the nads.

Beavis

Whoa, check it out, it's the Turdburgler!

Butt-head

You mean the Hamburglar, dude.

Beavis

No, this guy's a Turdburgler.

Butt-head

Oh yeah!

Beavis

Look at this dumbass! How come he's the only guy who's wearing make-up?

Butt-head

It's like, him and the band all got together and stuff, and said "OK man, tomorrow, we're gonna wear some really scary scary makeup tomorrow, and it's gonna be really cool. We're gonna kick some ass." But then this dumbass was the only one stupid enough to do it!

Beavis

Yeah. The other dudes were probably like "You put makeup on? You dumbass, we were just joking!"

Butt-head

Boy, this is horrible.

Beavis

Um...don't say that, Butt-head. I kinda feel sorry for these guys.

Butt-head

Yeah.

Beavis

Whoa! If I had a mic like that, I'd stick a mic into every end, so I'd be four times as loud.

Butt-head

Uh...no you wouldn't. You can only sing into one end at a time, Beavis.

Beavis

Not if I spun it around really fast, Butt-head.

Butt-head

No you wouldn't, Beavis. You'd still be singing into one end at a time.

Beavis

No, Butt-head. I'd spin it around and go REALLY fast. I'd be like [high-pitched groaning].

Butt-head

Uh...yeah, I guess that might work.

Beavis

Check it out, I was at this concert, and then like Lars points at me. [Lars Ulrich points at the crowd] See? He's said, "There's Beavis"! And there I am, right there!

Butt-head

Beavis, you've never been to a concert in your life.

Beavis

Shut up, Butt-head! Your mom's a slut!

Butt-head

Beavis, Metallica suck. They've never made out with a chick either.

Beavis

Shut up, Butt-head! [the two can be seen hitting each other]