Smart Butt-head quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

I give my heart and soul to you!

Butt-head

Whoa! He said he gave his heart and soul to some chick.

Beavis

That must have been like...at least 50 pounds of meat.

Butt-head

This music is slow and fat.

Beavis

Yeah. This is the kind of music you have on a workout tape--if you're skinny and you wanna get fat!

Butt-head

Yeah. It's like you put this on, then you like pig out.

Beavis

And then every now and then, you just go "I GIVE MY HEART AND SOUL TO YOU!!!"

Butt-head

Yeah. And then you just sit there and get fat.

Butt-head

I think this is, like, a love song.

Beavis

Yeah. It is a love song so divine.

Butt-head

Did you see that guy?

Beavis

Yeah, really.

Butt-head

Must be his first concert.

Beavis

His mom's waiting outside in the stationwagon.

Butt-head

She said, "Okay, now what time's the concert gonna be over?"

Beavis

What a wuss!

Butt-head

Oh no. Is this The Eurythmics?

Beavis

[laughs] You said, um...you said, uh...eur...uh...you said something...eur...uh, urine?

Butt-head

No, Beavis. I said is this The Eurythmics?

Beavis

Yeah, I know, but it sounds kinda funny because it sounds like eur...uh, sounds kinda urine-y. There's something there.

Butt-head

Shut up.

Beavis

Come on, shut the truck. SHUT IT!

Butt-head

Yeah! This reminds me of that part in Goodfellas where they have that guy in the trunk. That movie was funny.

Beavis

Remember that one part where he goes "What do you mean I'm funny? What do you mean? Funny looking, what are you talking about? Funny, what, am I here to amuse you? Am I hear for your entertainment? What are you talking about? No! You said I was funny!" Pretty good, huh?

Butt-head

Yeah, then that guy wussed out. Remember that time you were doing it to McVicker?

Beavis

That didn't work out to well, Butt-head.

Butt-head

Yeah. You wussed out too.

Butt-head

If I ever get my own car, I think I'm gonna get a truck.

Beavis

Yeah, a truck with a big engine that goes "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!"

Butt-head

Yeah. And one that's razed up thirty feet above the ground. Then I'd, like, drive around town crushing stuff.

Beavis

Yeah, you could get one with one of those musical horns, and when you beep the horn, it goes, [imitates the Iron Man riff] "Dun-dun-da-dun-dun! Dunna-nana-nana-dun-duh-dun-duh!"

Butt-head

That would be cool.

Beavis

Then all the chicks would go out with you.

Butt-head

If they didn't, we'd like, run over their cars.

Beavis

Hey Butt-head, I think I saw these guys at Chuck E. Cheese's

Butt-head

Oh yeah! They sucked.

Beavis

I kept banging on the glass and saying "STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!"

Butt-head

Oh yeah, then you got your butt kicked.

Beavis

Oh yeah, yeah. That was cool.

Butt-head

How come this guy won't look at the camera?

Beavis

Yeah, yeah, come on! Look at the camera!

Butt-head

Yeah! That pisses me off.

Beavis

Yeah! It's like, when you try to get a cat to look at itself in the mirror, and it's like, it won't look at itself, it like, looks up and down and everything, you say LOOK AT YOURSELF! LOOK AT YOURSELF! NOW, NOW! And it's like, it just won't do it.

Beavis

(Imitating Robert Smith) Peter Piper picked a pickle of peckled peppers! Peter Piper Picked a pickled pecker!

Butt-head

How come this guy always has to like, sing like, [wails] uhuuuhuuuuuuhhhhhh!

Butt-head

His lipstick's on crooked.

Beavis

Yeah, he didn't do a very good job.

Butt-head

[Wails in imitation again] Uhuuuhuuuuuuhhhhhh!

Beavis

If he didn't do that, it's like, he'd be better.

Butt-head

Yeah. Or like, if he didn't have the makeup and he didn't sing like that, then he'd be pretty cool.

Beavis

Yeah, he can keep the caterpillars too. That'd be pretty cool.

Butt-head

Ugh! Is this a joke?

Beavis

Yeah. I think this is supposed to be funny.

Butt-head

Hey, check it out, it's Jeremy.

Beavis

He's still running. How come Jeremy's always hanging out in the woods?

Butt-head

Uh, I don't know.

Beavis

[mocking the singer] YYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Butt-head

I think I saw this dude in Burger World, once.

Beavis

Yeah. [screaming] I'D LIKE TWO TACOS, PLEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSEEE!!!! AND A SMALL ORDER OF FRIIIIIIIEEEESSSSS!!! TO GOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Butt-head

That was pretty good, Beavis. You suck almost as much as this dude.