Smart Butt-head quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

Butt-head

Look at this guy. Did I mention that this sucks?

Beavis

Yeah, but it's like, you know, it can't hurt to say it again.

Butt-head

"Plop". "Plop".

Beavis

"Plop, plop!"

Butt-head

This must be, like, some kind of toilet of the future.

Beavis

Yeah, it's like, they use kitty litter.

Butt-head

Yeah, I'm a water man, myself.

Beavis

I like to take a dump in the kitty box sometimes. And then, like, the cat comes and buries it for you.

Beavis

Whoa, this looks pretty cool!

Butt-head

Yeah, "The electrified forcefield has created the perfect being!" In the future, it's like, all turds will be perfectly round.

Beavis

Yeah yeah, and they will go "plop!"

Butt-head

It's like, I haven't seen Danzig on TV in awhile.

Beavis

Yeah yeah, he's been hiding out so that I can't find him and kick his ass.

Butt-head

Yeah, right! I'd like to see you try to kick Danzig's ass!

Beavis

Oh yeah. It'd probably be pretty close now, 'cause like, all that sand stuff down there, that's probably like that "pearl formula weight gain" powder stuff. He's tryin' to like, bulk up for a fight!

Butt-head

You're a butt-monkey, Beavis!

Beavis

Eh, I'm gonna kick his ass, yeah!

Beavis

Whoa, check out his eyes.

Butt-head

Uhhh, you want black eyes like that?

Beavis

Yeah, yeah, I think it would be cool!

Butt-head

Okay. [starts smacking Beavis repeatedly]

Beavis

Um, heh, one thing about this video though, that's really cool and everything, but then it just stops! Like, just, out of nowhere.

Butt-head

Uh-[the video ends]

Beavis

These guys are pretty cool, but, this lead singer looks like Patrick Swayze and he like-

Butt-head

Shut up, Beavis, these guys are cool!

Beavis

Hey Butt-head, doesn't this song have another video?

Butt-head

Yeah, this song is so good they had to do it twice.

Butt-head

I heard this dude could bench press, like, 140.

Beavis

Whoa! That's pretty good. Maybe he'll be in the 200 Club someday.

Butt-head

Settle down, Danzig! I wonder what this guy does, like, when he's not doing this?

Beavis

I bet he just scores with chicks, and then just, like, fights alot.

Butt-head

Yeah. I wonder who would win in a fight between Danzig, and uhhhhhhhhh....

Beavis

Uh, Geraldo?

Butt-head

No.

Beavis

Um, eh, Danny Bonaduce?

Butt-head

Yeah! Bonaduce would kick ass!

Beavis

What's he doing? He was, like, shaking his hips back and forth like a little wussy.

Butt-head

Yeah. That little dance isn't very cool.

Butt-head

Uh... is that deadmau5?

Beavis

Oh yeah. He looks like Eminem without his mouse helmet.

Butt-head

Yeah, really.

Beavis

Whoa, check it out. deadmau5 is dead. I'll be damned.

Butt-head

Uh... remember that time that kid at school died?

Beavis

Oh, yeah, yeah. Um, who was that?

Butt-head

Uh...

Beavis

Was it Stewart?

Butt-head

No, Stewart's still alive. We saw him yesterday.

Beavis

Oh, we did? I um, usually don't notice. I know Daria killed herself, I remember that.

Butt-head

Uh... she didn't kill herself, she just moved away.

Beavis

Whoa, really? Wow. You know, that's kinda surprising. I thought she killed herself.

Butt-head

Remember when they set that grief counselor to talk to us right after, uh... whatever his name was died?

Beavis

Oh yeah, yeah. He was cool. He let us call him Rick.

Butt-head

Yeah, he like turned his chair backwards and rolled up his sleeves.

Beavis

You know, he invited me over to his apartment for spaghetti too.

Butt-head

Uh, that's kinda weird. You didn't go, did you?

Beavis

Um, I don't really remember. Last thing I remember, I got into his van, and um, he gave me some lemonade, and then the next thing I remember, I woke up under a bridge.

Butt-head

Uh... are you just making this up? You never told me about this.

Beavis

See, that's exactly what Rick said would happen if I ever told anybody. He would say I made it up, see?

Butt-head

Uh...

Beavis

He's a smart guy, that Rick.

Butt-head

Uh... okay, Beavis.

Beavis

You know, I think he can see into the future too because he also told me that my butt might hurt for a couple of days. And it did. You see that? Amazing.

Beavis

Well I'll be damned, it's Dave Navarro.

Butt-head

Who?

Beavis

Dave Navarro. See, umh he, uh...he was in another band, but then he quit, and now he's in the Chili Peppers or something.

Butt-head

How do you know?

Beavis

I saw it on MTV News. [imitates the theme music] Pee-pee-pee-pee-pee-pee-pee...you hear it first. Pee-pee-pee-pee-pee-pee-pee!

Butt-head

You're a dork, Beavis.