Smart Butt-head quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head, page 11 ... TV Quotes Database

Played by Mike Judge

Most-quoted character in Beavis and Butt-Head: in 1,945 of its 2,204 quotes
Most scenes with: Smart Beavis (1,714), Coach Buzzcut (15), Mr. Van Driessen (14)

Scenes with Smart Butt-head 1,797

Beavis

Think she's a diver?

Butt-Head

Ask your mom.

Beavis

Choadsmoker.

[after Beavis and Butt-head inhaled the helium from the balloons to get a buzz]

S1 E3 Balloon

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Beavis

[high-pitched voice] I don't feel nothing.

Butt-head

[high-pitched voice] Huh huh huh. What's wrong with your voice, dude?

Beavis

[high-pitched voice] What's wrong with yours?

Butt-head

[high-pitched voice] Oh no.

BBoth

[high-pitched voices] WE'RE NEUTERED!

S1 E3 Balloon

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Beavis

This sucks! Help!

Butt-head

Can I have your skateboard?

Beavis

Shoot me down, asswipe! This sucks!

S1 E3 Balloon

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Butt-head

[lights a fire-cracking under one fin of a model rocket so that said rocket flies slightly in the air before immediately crashing upon its side] And that was the first time that a teacher was shot into space.

DMrs. Dickie

That was the most offensive science report I've ever heard. How could you do such a thing?

Butt-head

Beavis helped me.

S2 E1 Scientific Stuff

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Beavis

hey butthead, look what i found yesterday.

Butt-head

WOAH, where'd ya find it?

Beavis

Anderson's house.

S2 E2 Good Credit

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PSPet store attendent

Will there be anythings else?

Butt-Head

Do you have any dead animals?

S2 E2 Good Credit

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AMr. Andreson

Hey, you look kinda familiar. You ain't them kids that spray painted my dog last week, are you?

Butt-head

Uh huh huh, that was uh... other kids.

S2 E3 Burger World

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Mr. Anderson

Large fries, pie, large coffie NOW.

Butt-Head

Uhh...

Mr. Anderson

I didn't order uhh.

S2 E3 Burger World

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[both are hanging upsidedown from the movie sign with their pants down]

Butt-head

[looking at Beavis' butt] Huh huh, your butt kinda looks like baloney. With pimples.

Beavis

Hey! Why are you so interested in my butt!?

Butt-head

Uh....um...that new GWAR album is pretty cool, huh?

S2 E5 Beware of the Butt

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WWoman

You boys ready to die!

BBBeavis and Butt-head

:[Screams] Buttwoman!

[The obese woman laughs maniacally and chases the boys around. They fall down after jumping over the fence and are later seen hanging upsidedown without their pants. On the Drive-In Sign, it says "Hello, Look At Our Butts!"]

S2 E5 Beware of the Butt

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ATAlex Trebek

[on Jeopardy!] Biological processes for eight-hundred: Part of the body responsible for the creation and organisation of the electronic pulses which, when processed, form the basis of intelligence.

Butt-head

[watching t. v.] What is the butt, Alex?

S2 E5 Beware of the Butt

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Butt-head

That's the biggest, fattest, hairiest, wart-coveredest butt I ever saw.

Beavis

Yeah. His is pretty ugly, too.

[Butt-head takes a picture of the butt. He and Beavis are soon scared when the owner of the butt shows her face.]

BWButt Woman

You boys think you got a problem with my butt?! I'm gonna kick your butts all over this drive-in!

S2 E5 Beware of the Butt

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[Later on at an empty drive-in, Beavis and Butt-head are seen hanging upside down on the drive-in sign with no pants. The sign reads: Hello, look at our Butts!]

Butt-head

Help! Help. This sucks!

Beavis

Yeah

S2 E5 Beware of the Butt

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[the boys are hanging upsidedown from the drive-in sign with no pants]

Butt-head

Your butt's weird-looking.

Beavis

Shut up.

Butt-head