[after calling Baxter on the phone] I'll show Baxter, I don't need the farmer, I got all the friends I need right here. So, uh, who wants to deworm me?
[The animals are confused]
It's time to do the barn meeting. Listen guys, we can't let Baxter get away with this, we need to get him out of the house once we get Duke back inside, but for all these sakes.
If Baxter sets me up for good, the farmer won’t even take me back to another place.
Listen Duke, you just need to help the farmer get rid of Baxter until you save him from a bear.
FreddyOoh, i like where this is going.
It’s because i don’t know, Freddy.
Don’t worry, animals, won’t even be a real bear, it's going to be me in a bear costume that can make me dress like a bear, the farmer needs to take Baxter outside to take a walk every afternoon.
Freddy
I love that plan, Otis.
I didn’t say that yet, Freddy.
Freddy
I don’t know why i'm not confused.
[Daytime, the farmer takes Baxter out for a walk]
Okay Baxter, you lead the way. [Baxter barks; chuckles] What a cute little dickens. [suddenly, a real bear jumps out from behind a tree! Baxter screams] A bear! Get him, boy, get him! [Baxter circles around the farmer then pushes him toward the bear] Huh, what, don't, stop. Bad dog, what are you doing?
[watches them through binoculars] Look at Otis in that costume, here we go, it’s showtime. [charges straight towards the bear, wondering if it was Otis who was wearing the bear costume]
[The bear looks around as Duke kicks his leg, double kicks his back, bites his rear end, and Kung Fu kicks his face. Being knocked out, the bear stops near the farmer's feet]
[unharmed and surprised] Well done Duke, you saved my life, you saved me from the bear, i’m not going to kick you out. Can you just forgive me? [The farmer pets Duke's head just as Baxter approaches them, the farmer glares at him] And as for you, Baxter, look what you did to me, you threw me to the bear, bad dog, you're going back to the animal shelter to find a new home.
[As Baxter watches the farmer walk off with a hurt expression, he turns to Duke angrily]
Goodbye Duke, this isn't over, i'll be back, you'll see, and then we'll- [gets yanked away]
Come on Otis, get up, the farmer is heading straight to the animal shelter before Baxter finds a new home, he can't recognize you in your costume.
[in a bear costume, approaches] Roar, roar, roar, roar, roar! [takes off the mask]Hello Duke, what happened? Where’s Baxter? Where’s the farmer?
The farmer sent Baxter back to the animal shelter. Who's that? Is that the real bear? [points to the real bear]
BBear
It’s time for a round two, sheepdog.
Wait, i can explain, you see, that other dog stole my identity in the previous episode, and recently returned to try it again.
BBear
Who are you? Professor Exposition?
[The Professor Exposition gag is shown.]
Who? [the bear pounds him into the ground and leaves]'
Otis, I can't believe that phony Big Bones is getting the credit for your mustache recipe.
Mmm. Who cares? Freddy's imitation rooster is awesome!
[Everyone else agrees.]
Hey, wait a minute. Where's Peck?
[Everyone looks at their forks, thinking they ate Peck.]
[monotone] Aaaaaaaaahhhh.
[Otis uses a plunger on his mouth. Just then, Freddy and Peck enter.]
[Everyone is relieved to see Peck.]
I don't even wanna tell you what we were thinking.
Freddy
That the secret ingredient in tofrooster is dandruff? How'd you guess?
[Beat.]
[monotone] Aaaaaaaaahhhh.
[still suffering from indigestion] AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
RRooster
[singing opera] Aaaaaaaaaahhh!
[At Mr. Wiggleplix's funeral, Pig is sobbing at Mr. Wiggleplix's grave.]
Friends, we're gathered here remember Mr. Wiggleplix. He lived a short, full life until Otis crushed him with an anvil.
Otis, since you often, maybe you'd like to say a few words.
Um, yeah those words would be "no".
Otis, you've got to! It says so in "What to Do Your Friend's Imaginary Friend's Funeral"!
Oh, okay, fine. [gets up and walks to the "R.I.P. Mr. Wiggleplix" sign] Uh... Mr. Wiggleplix was transparent. I, for one, will never forget how I was never able to see any type of physical manifestation of this... [looks at the sign] uh, giant top hatted koala.
Hedgehog! He was a giant HEDGEHOG!!! [runs away in tears]
Freddy
[sarcastic] Nice, Otis!
Yeah, first, you off his friend, then you call him a filthy koala!
Oh, okay, first, I never said filthy. And second, HE DOES NOT EXIST!
Freddy
Look at her beady, little eyes, her furrowed brow, her cruel hateful beak.
Freddy, you're looking at me.
Freddy
I KNOW WHAT YOU DID!
Guys, Bessy's my best friend. I refuse to believe she stole those paintings.
Well, there's only one way to find out.
Confront her with what we saw?
No way! You remember the last time we tried to confront her with something?
[Flashback to Bessy dropping an anvil on Otis' head.]
Ha! You remember the last time we tried to alert the authorities?
[Flashback to Bessy shoving Pig in Otis' mouth.]
Maybe we should forget the whole thing and go about our business.
You remember the last time we tried to forget the whole thing and go about our business?
[Flashback to Bessy dropping the henhouse on Otis.]
[Discussing the Z-Box.]
Otis, that thing costs, like, ten thousand tickets.
Freddy
Yeah, we'll never get that many.
Guys, did Napoleon quit when he needed ten thousand tickets to conquer France? Did that other guy quit when he needed ten thousand tickets to do that ten thousand ticket thing? No! I'm not saying it'll be easy. I'm not saying--
[The others have left, and it's revealed Otis was giving his speech to a small kid, who starts crying.]
EEric
[to Freddy and Peck] Know what I like about you guys? NOTHING!
Freddy
Meanie!
EEric
[to Abby] You have beautiful hair, ON YOUR UPPER LIP!
Why'd you have to say that?!
EEric
[to Pip] How's the weather down there, SHORTY?!
But I'm taller than you. It still hurts!
[Everyone cries.]
Listen, wormy. What say you just get on your hate wagon and hit the road?
EEric
Okay, dugly! I called you "dugly", 'cause you're dumb AND ugly!
Yeah, that's great. Look, your little schoolyard taunts don't work on me, so why don't you just dive back into your hole, and leave us alone?
EEric
You have to hang bacon around your neck just so puppies will play with you!
[in tears] How did you know that?! I'm a nice guy! Why do I have to hang bacon around my neck?! [weeps] Don't look at me!
Back at the Barnyard · 303 quotes
