I'm the pathetic one, Buster, not you. I totally freaked out in front of that prosecutor today. Like a little girl. In a little dress. Little saddle shoes. Little pigtails.
Wow, that does sound like a little girl.
S2 E5Sad Sack
S2 E6Afternoon Delight
No, you're not going to that. You see, if I show up with you, it'll just make me seem like I'm a mother.
I've never thought of you that way.
That's sweet.
My mom is very stressed out, and uh, she needs something that I can't give her, um... maybe a little afternoon delight?
Oscar thought that Michael was referring to a particular brand of cannabis named Afternoon Delight, a strand famous for slowing behavior.
Well, sure, the question is: Which way do I try to get it in her?
I don't need any details.
Maybe I'll put it in her brownie.
Hey!
I did the right thing, Michael. If I don't fire them, how do I teach a lesson to the others?
There are no others. You fired everyone.
S2 E7Switch Hitter
Get me a vodka rocks.
Mom, it's breakfast.
And a piece of toast.
SSitwell
The only thing I ask is, out of the 450 homes we build, one be given to a disadvantaged family from the inner city.
That's great. So the other 449 families live in fear? Is that what we're saying?
...We lost our entire outfield, and a couple of court cases.
You know who would be great—and not at all litigious—is Ann.
S2 E8Queen For A Day
Michael [to Buster]: Maybe it's time you got out there and started meeting people. You know? Meeting women. Meeting women who didn't give birth to you.
So you take your mom to work every day? Bummer. Moms are such a pain in the ass, huh? It's, like, die already!
S2 E9Burning Love
Oh, hi, Mom. I have the afternoon free.
Really? Did "nothing" cancel?
My wife is humiliated. This is my chance to right the small wrong that I did.
You shot her in the ass with about four ounces of horse tranquilizer.
I haven't been the perfect husband -- yes, I admit that. But now is my chance to be a hero.
My back is in knots. I haven't had a massage since prison.
Hope that was forced.
S2 E10Ready, Aim, Marry Me
She'd love to get at me any way she could. That's why she's been flirting with Gob. She's trying to prove that she's closer to my children than I am, but the joke's on her, because she doesn't know how little I care for Gob.
I think that makes the joke on Gob.
[looking at a gift basket] Didn't you get one of those, too? You bought Lindsay at the same auction.
I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run if you will, so I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.
There's so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.
Well, Michael, you really are quite the Cupid, aren't you? I tell you, you can sink your arrow into my buttocks any time.
Okay, you know what you do? You buy yourself a tape recorder, you just record yourself for a whole day. I think you're going to be surprised at some of your phrasing.
Butterscotch! Want a lick?
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