Lindsay Bluth Fünke quotes from Arrested Development

Lindsay

Look, I screwed up, ok? I'm lost, and I hate them. I hate the Wetlands. They're stupid and wet, and there are bugs everywhere, and I think I maced a crane, Michael.

Lindsay

(loudly) Well, how embarrassing. My own brother buying me? I'd rather die. (whispers to Michael) Thank you. Maybe you're not that selfish.

Lindsay

Well, you and I have different management styles. I believe work should be fun, and you try to crush people's spirits. What's next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose?

Lindsay

Well, they expect a certain amount of theft, Michael. It's built into the price. If I didn't take it, then people would be overpaying for nothing.

Lindsay

[to Maeby] You know what? I'm going to throw on a skirt, take off my underwear, and make your Pop-pop proud!

Lindsay

I care deeply for nature.

Michael

You're wearing ostrich-skin boots.

Lindsay

Well, I don't care about ostriches.

Michael

Come on, face it. You just do all this charity crap just to stroke your ego. You don't even know what the auction's for tonight.

Lindsay

The wetlands.

Michael

To do what with them?

Lindsay

Dry them.

Michael

Save them.

Lindsay

From drying.

Michael

Did I just wake you up? I didn't even know you were home.

Lindsay

No, Michael, I don't just sleep all day.

Narrator

Actually, Lindsay was so upset at Michael that she tried meditating to calm herself but ended up taking a two-hour angry nap.

Michael

I love Marta.

Lindsay

Mom's housekeeper?

Lindsay

It would just give Dad one more reason to think that I've got nothing to offer but my looks.

GOB

Yeah, I got some of that. Except he also didn't like my looks.

Michael

Since when are you against leather?

Maeby

Yeah, you're not even a vegetarian.

Lindsay

Well, I'm not against the insides. I mean, people need meat to survive.

Michael

You are aware they don't remove it from the cow surgically, right?

Michael

I'm a saint, you know. I'm a living saint, and I get absolutely nothing out of it.

Lindsay

Well, you get a false feeling of superiority

Michael

That is nice, but this time it's not enough.

Lindsay

It's George Michael, he told me. I think he wants a mother.

Michael

Well that's ridiculous. He's got you, he's got our mother. You'd think that would turn him off to the entire concept.

Lindsay

Where's Nana?

I sent her on a wonderful cruise. You just missed a wonderful call from her. She just came back from a wonderful costume party that the captain threw. She gained ten pounds, there's so much food on that boat. She's up to 74. She tried pesto for the first time. Imagine that, 92 years old and she never tried pesto. It was wonderful. Just wonderful.

Narrator

In fact, Lucille's mother had been dead for six months.

Michael

Lindsay, new outfit?

Lindsay

This? No, I've had this for years. I think it's a hand-me-down from Mom.

Michael

You got a price tag. Right there.

Lindsay

Is there? I guess she wanted me to have something new. Sweet old thing.

Michael

Only two of those words describe Mom, so I know you're lying to me. And where did you get that outfit?

Lindsay

Old thing got it for me.