Arrested Development quotes

177 total quotes



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Buster: Hey! I'm finally being treated like a real person. Not some deformed...
Gob: Ah! Hook. I forgot about that there, Elephant Man. We'll have to find something to do so that people can look at you without wanting to kill themselves.

Buster: Hey, fake Uncle Jack.

Dr. Fishman: Excuse me, are you the Bluths?
Lucille: Not Doctor Wordsmith. How's my son?
Dr. Fishman: He's going to be all right.
Oscar: Oh, thank God.
Lindsay: Finally, some good news from this guy.
George Michael: There's no other way to take that.
Dr. Fishman: That's a great attitude. I gotta tell you, if I was given this news, I don't know if I would take it this well.
Lucille: But... you said he was alright.
Dr. Fishman: Yes. He's lost his left hand, so he's going to be all right.
Lucille: You son of a bitch. I hate this doctor!

Dr. Fishman: Excuse me, Mrs Fünke.
Lucille: Oh, this guy again.
Michael: How is he, doctor?
Dr. Fishman: It looks like he's dead.
Lucille: Oh, my God!
Gob: Oh, little guy. The tears aren't comin'! The tears just aren't comin'!
Michael: Uh, just to be clear: looks like he's dead, or he is dead?
Dr. Fishman: It just looks like he's dead. He's got, like, blue paint on him or something. But he's going to be fine.
Gob: What is wrong with you?
Maeby: This [bleep]ing doctor!
Dr. Fishman: I'll let you celebrate privately.

George Michael: Ann just called. They had a pre-dawn mass. Then they were going to mass, so...
Michael: Ann's got a great deal of mass.

George Michael: I have Pop-Pop in the attic.
Michael: What? The mere fact that you call making love "pop pop" tells me you're not ready.

George Sr.: My back is in knots. I haven't had a massage since prison.
Michael: Hope that was forced.

Gob: I did the right thing, Michael. If I don't fire them, how do I teach a lesson to the others?
Michael: There are no others. You fired everyone.

Gob: I'm the pathetic one, Buster, not you. I totally freaked out in front of that prosecutor today. Like a little girl. In a little dress. Little saddle shoes. Little pigtails.
Buster: Wow, that does sound like a little girl.

Gob: Michael, I've been looking for you.
Michael: Looks like you're looking for dragons... In the future.

Gob: So you take your mom to work every day? Bummer. Moms are such a pain in the ass, huh? It's, like, die already!

Gob: The cow is coming after me.
Michael: Your wife? She was super-thin.
Gob: She was? What about her cans? She have big cans?
Michael: You don't remember her at all, do you?
Gob: Hey, it was one night of wild passion!
Michael: And yet you didn't notice her body?
Gob: I like to look in the mirror.

Gob: Well, gee, I never thought the woman I'd be checking out at spring break would be Mom.
Buster: She's better looking than the whores you date.
Gob: Don't call my escorts "whores."
Buster: Mom's still got it!
Gob: I DON'T DATE WHORES!
Lindsay: Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop.
Michael: It's just Mom and whores.

Gob: Why don't you get Gob to do your dirty work for you? Shall I knock Dad out and chain him to a pipe somewhere, or should I risk another herpes outbreak with Kitty? Which is it this time, Michael?
Michael: Well, definitely neither of those two things.

Lindsay: [to Maeby] You know what? I'm going to throw on a skirt, take off my underwear, and make your Pop-pop proud!