Oscar Bluth quotes from Arrested Development

I want you out of the house.

Oscar

Oh, I want you everywhere.

Oscar

God willing, he'll fail boot camp.

Michael

Well, why wouldn't he? He already failed day camp.

Michael

My mom is very stressed out, and uh, she needs something that I can't give her, um... maybe a little afternoon delight?

Narrator

Oscar thought that Michael was referring to a particular brand of cannabis named Afternoon Delight, a strand famous for slowing behavior.

Oscar

Well, sure, the question is: Which way do I try to get it in her?

Michael

I don't need any details.

Oscar

Maybe I'll put it in her brownie.

Michael

Hey!

Excuse me, are you the Bluths?

Not Doctor Wordsmith. How's my son?

He's going to be all right.

Oscar

Oh, thank God.

Lindsay

Finally, some good news from this guy.

George Michael

There's no other way to take that.

That's a great attitude. I gotta tell you, if I was given this news, I don't know if I would take it this well.

But... you said he was alright.

Yes. He's lost his left hand, so he's going to be all right.

You son of a bitch. I hate this doctor!

Oscar

I'm your uncle! I'm your dad's twin brother! I'm Oscar! He switched on me! Noone believes me!

Narrator

Unfortunately for Oscar, "You got the wrong twin" was a very popular alibi.

You simply got the wrong twin!

We're quadruplets! You got the wrong two!

We're Larry and Dave!

You want Curtis and Jack!

Oscar

I even started up a website: I'mOscar.com! (we see the I'mOscar.com main webpage) I'm innocent Michael! I'm Oscar! Dot Com!