TV show quotes
[after Michael asks Tobias to buy a tape recorder to record himself speaking] You know, Michael, perhaps I should buy you that tape recorder. Do you have any idea how often you say the word "afraid"?
Well, I know I did in the jacuzzi.
And I apologize for that. I thought it was a pool toy.
On the next Arrested Development, Tobias listens to a day's worth of his own recordings to see what Michael was referring to.
[on tape] Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up!
Nothing wrong with that.
[on tape] I've been in the film business for a while but I just cant seem to get one in the can.
That's out of context...
[on tape] I wouldn't mind kissing that man between the cheeks.
And he realizes there is something distinct about the way he speaks.
Tobias... you blow hard! [chuckles]
Hey, fake Uncle Jack.
Well Gob doesn't do anything for the family...
Hey... I'm [bleep]ing Lucille 2!
Oh! I could do something like that...
You know, mother Lucille, there's a psychological concept known as denial that I believe you're evincing. It's when a thought is so hateful that the mind literally rejects it.
You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law, and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent.
Well, if she's not going to say anything, I certainly can't help her.
That's the first time we were in the shower since our honeymoon.
And this time, no tears!
Excuse me, are you the Bluths?
Not Doctor Wordsmith. How's my son?
He's going to be all right.
Oh, thank God.
Finally, some good news from this guy.
There's no other way to take that.
That's a great attitude. I gotta tell you, if I was given this news, I don't know if I would take it this well.
But... you said he was alright.
Yes. He's lost his left hand, so he's going to be all right.
You son of a bitch. I hate this doctor!
Mom, after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you.
The cow is coming after me.
Your wife? She was super-thin.
She was? What about her cans? She have big cans?
You don't remember her at all, do you?
Hey, it was one night of wild passion!
And yet you didn't notice her body?
I like to look in the mirror.
Oh, God. Not that "I'm in love with my mother" dance thing. I'm so glad there wasn't one of those for daddies and daughters.
Of course they have father-daughter dances.
They do? He never took me?
It was before we did your nose. Toodle-oo.
So then, he's more popular than George Michael?
Well, that's like comparing apples and some fruit nobody's ever heard of.
You've got to be the laziest person in the world.
If you weren't all the way on the other side of the room, I'd slap your face.
...And Steve Holt finally tracks down his real father.
I've been wondering my whole life who he is. A scientist, a doctor, a senator?
Well, we got some bad news. [Hands Steve a picture of Gob]
Wow... Is that what's gonna happen to my hair?
Hey! I'm finally being treated like a real person. Not some deformed...
Ah! Hook. I forgot about that there, Elephant Man. We'll have to find something to do so that people can look at you without wanting to kill themselves.
My baby is sick, but Mother is here to nurse you.
Well, now I'm a little sicker.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Arrested Development pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
