Lucille quotes from Arrested Development

Buster, this is exactly why our relationship does not work.

Buster

Our relationship doesn't work?

No, not as long as you keep getting me all mixed up with your mother.

Buster

It is exactly the opposite. I'm leaving my mother for you. You're replacing my mother.

Well, that's healthy.

[holding out a tissue] Blow.

Buster

No mother. I can blow myself.

Barry Zuckerkorn

It would help if you would all show up looking like a loving, supportive family.

For how long?

Barry Zuckerkorn

Ten minutes tops.

See if you can get it down to five.

I don't have the milk of mother's kindness in me anymore.

Michael

Yeah. That udder's been dry for a while though, hasn't it?

Buster

I'm a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits.

Suddenly, playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit.

Lindsay

Where's Nana?

I sent her on a wonderful cruise. You just missed a wonderful call from her. She just came back from a wonderful costume party that the captain threw. She gained ten pounds, there's so much food on that boat. She's up to 74. She tried pesto for the first time. Imagine that, 92 years old and she never tried pesto. It was wonderful. Just wonderful.

Narrator

In fact, Lucille's mother had been dead for six months.

I’m going to Annyong’s soccer award ceremony and...

Annyong. [everyone stares at him]

...and I don’t need the other soccer moms knowing how old my first batch of kids are.

Gob

Yeah, I think that they're going to know that Annyong's not your --

Annyong.

Gob

Would somebody please tell this insufferable child... to... God!

Michael

Tell me the truth, okay? 'Cause there's been a lot of lying in this family.

And a lot of love.

Michael

More lies.

Excuse me, Mrs Fünke.

Oh, this guy again.

Michael

How is he, doctor?

It looks like he's dead.

Oh, my God!

Gob

Oh, little guy. The tears aren't comin'! The tears just aren't comin'!

Michael

Uh, just to be clear: looks like he's dead, or he is dead?

It just looks like he's dead. He's got, like, blue paint on him or something. But he's going to be fine.

Gob

What is wrong with you?

Maeby

This [bleep]ing doctor!

I'll let you celebrate privately.

It's not fair to Buster. He's a nervous wreck right now. He's going into the Army, for God's sake.

Michael

You volunteered him.

I knew you were going to throw that in my face.

I want you out of the house.

Oscar

Oh, I want you everywhere.

Michael

[to Gob] Get rid of the Seaward.

I'll leave when I'm good and ready.

Michael

We have a private eye, huh?

Oh, I hired him a hundred years ago to find out if your father was cheating on me. He never did find anything.

Michael

Well, he can't be very good then.

What are you doing home?

Buster

Army had half a day.

Get me a vodka rocks.

Michael

Mom, it's breakfast.

And a piece of toast.