Arrested Development quotes

177 total quotes

All Seasons
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Barry Zuckerkorn: It would help if you would all show up looking like a loving, supportive family.
Lucille: For how long?
Barry Zuckerkorn: Ten minutes tops.
Lucille: See if you can get it down to five.

Buster: And I'm going to continue dating, Mom.
Michael: It sounds a little bit like "dating Mom."
Buster: It's starting to feel a little like it.

Buster: Hey! I'm finally being treated like a real person. Not some deformed...
Gob: Ah! Hook. I forgot about that there, Elephant Man. We'll have to find something to do so that people can look at you without wanting to kill themselves.

Buster: Hey, fake Uncle Jack.

Buster: I'm a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits.
Lucille: Suddenly, playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit.

Buster: Let me go with you. I was trained by Army. I speak the language.
Michael: You speak Arabic?
Buster: La-ach-ha-tem.
Michael: What's that mean?
Buster: No, I was just clearing my throat... but I think it actually does mean "laundry," but like a child's laundry. We don't really have a word for it.

Buster: She's just wigged out because I have a girlfriend.
Lucille: A waiter hands him a note and suddenly he's Steve McQueen. He doesn't even know what she looks like.
Buster: I know that she's a brownish area with points.

Buster: Uh, I'm unclear about what it is exactly you do.
Jessie: Excellent question. What a publicist does--
Buster: No, no, I was talking to George Michael. When did you get a job?
George Michael: I work at the banana stand.
Buster: Oh, duh. I thought you meant, like, a plumber or something, and I was like, when did that happen?

Buster: Well clearly the blue part is the land.

Cab driver: Where to, mate?
Tobias: The Gothic Castle.
Cab driver: Gothic Asshole?
Tobias: That's what I said.

Dr. Fishman: Excuse me, are you the Bluths?
Lucille: Not Doctor Wordsmith. How's my son?
Dr. Fishman: He's going to be all right.
Oscar: Oh, thank God.
Lindsay: Finally, some good news from this guy.
George Michael: There's no other way to take that.
Dr. Fishman: That's a great attitude. I gotta tell you, if I was given this news, I don't know if I would take it this well.
Lucille: But... you said he was alright.
Dr. Fishman: Yes. He's lost his left hand, so he's going to be all right.
Lucille: You son of a bitch. I hate this doctor!

Dr. Fishman: Excuse me, Mrs F√ľnke.
Lucille: Oh, this guy again.
Michael: How is he, doctor?
Dr. Fishman: It looks like he's dead.
Lucille: Oh, my God!
Gob: Oh, little guy. The tears aren't comin'! The tears just aren't comin'!
Michael: Uh, just to be clear: looks like he's dead, or he is dead?
Dr. Fishman: It just looks like he's dead. He's got, like, blue paint on him or something. But he's going to be fine.
Gob: What is wrong with you?
Maeby: This [bleep]ing doctor!
Dr. Fishman: I'll let you celebrate privately.

George Michael: Ann just called. They had a pre-dawn mass. Then they were going to mass, so...
Michael: Ann's got a great deal of mass.

George Michael: I have Pop-Pop in the attic.
Michael: What? The mere fact that you call making love "pop pop" tells me you're not ready.

George Michael: Was Aunt Lindsay ever pregnant?
Gob: Oh yeah. Dozens of times.