Gob quotes from Arrested Development

You really think you can break out of my prison?

G.O.B

You won't even know I was here.

Narrator

The warden was intrigued-- Less about the stunt, and more about the prison beatings this brash magician was sure to receive.

Michael

Hey, speaking of kidding, How serious are you about Marta? I get the sense that there's not much of a future there. Am I reading that right?

G.O.B

[from inside the prison] Let me ask you something. How would you feel if I came down on you hard?

Michael

You're saying I'm not reading this right.

G.O.B

No, I'm saying move the bike. I need to jump on you to break my fall.

Gob

Take off your glasses. Oh... wait, wait. Let down your hair. No: glasses on, hair back up. Let's just get that hair right back up.

Kitty

Let me turn the lights off.

Gob

Yes, yes, please.

Kitty

How's that? Is that better?

Gob

It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door.

Gob

I [bleep]ed Kitty!

Michael

Gob! I just wanted you to get the information.

Gob

I got the information.

Michael

You did, huh? About the international accounts?

Gob

Oh, I see what you're getting at. No, I didn't get any information.

Kitty

Gob? I wish I would have know you were coming. I am a mess.

Gob

I don't know if a call from me would've changed that.

Kitty

Do you like my outfit?

Gob

Not as much as I like what's underneath it.

Kitty

Gob!

Gob

No, I need your chair. Get up.

Michael

I can't believe she got that driver's license renewed.

G.O.B

She didn't. I dummied her up a new one. Not my best work, though. She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking “albino” in the form.

Lindsay

It would just give Dad one more reason to think that I've got nothing to offer but my looks.

GOB

Yeah, I got some of that. Except he also didn't like my looks.

Michael

Tell you what. I'm going to give you the cash, but in return, I get to ask you for a favor sometime.

Gob

My gut is telling me no. But my gut is also very hungry.

Gob

[about the Hot Cops] These guys are pros, Michael. They're gonna push the tension 'til the last possible moment before they strip.

Michael

They're not going to strip, are they?

Gob

I told them not to, but I can't promise that their instincts won't kick in.

Gob

Oh, I see. She wants to talk to you. For some reason women feel safe around you. Maybe it's because you've only had sex four times.

Michael

Not four times, four women! And they talk to me because I talk to them!

George Michael

Was Aunt Lindsay ever pregnant?

Gob

Oh yeah. Dozens of times.

Michael

I'm not a one-night stand kinda guy, I don't like lying to women.

Gob

These are lawyers. That's Latin for liar.

Michael

Boy, the lengths you'll go to sleep with a woman.

Gob

Believe me, we didn't do any sleeping. I had sex last night.

Narrator

But he really didn't.

Gob

Yes, I did.

Gob

I just had a major night. With a major blonde. Who just majored in Marine Biology, if you know what I mean.

Michael

I don't know what you mean. I can't imagine what that means.