George Michael Bluth quotes from Arrested Development

She'd love to get at me any way she could. That's why she's been flirting with Gob. She's trying to prove that she's closer to my children than I am, but the joke's on her, because she doesn't know how little I care for Gob.

Michael

I think that makes the joke on Gob.

Michael

[looking at a gift basket] Didn't you get one of those, too? You bought Lindsay at the same auction.

Tobias

I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run if you will, so I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.

Michael

There's so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.

Tobias

Well, Michael, you really are quite the Cupid, aren't you? I tell you, you can sink your arrow into my buttocks any time.

Michael

Okay, you know what you do? You buy yourself a tape recorder, you just record yourself for a whole day. I think you're going to be surprised at some of your phrasing.

Tobias

Butterscotch! Want a lick?

Tobias

[after Michael asks Tobias to buy a tape recorder to record himself speaking] You know, Michael, perhaps I should buy you that tape recorder. Do you have any idea how often you say the word "afraid"?

Michael

Well, I know I did in the jacuzzi.

Tobias

And I apologize for that. I thought it was a pool toy.

Excuse me, are you the Bluths?

Not Doctor Wordsmith. How's my son?

He's going to be all right.

Oscar

Oh, thank God.

Lindsay

Finally, some good news from this guy.

George Michael

There's no other way to take that.

That's a great attitude. I gotta tell you, if I was given this news, I don't know if I would take it this well.

But... you said he was alright.

Yes. He's lost his left hand, so he's going to be all right.

You son of a bitch. I hate this doctor!

Gob

The cow is coming after me.

Michael

Your wife? She was super-thin.

Gob

She was? What about her cans? She have big cans?

Michael

You don't remember her at all, do you?

Gob

Hey, it was one night of wild passion!

Michael

And yet you didn't notice her body?

Gob

I like to look in the mirror.

Michael

So then, he's more popular than George Michael?

Maeby

Well, that's like comparing apples and some fruit nobody's ever heard of.

Michael

You've got to be the laziest person in the world.

Lindsay

If you weren't all the way on the other side of the room, I'd slap your face.

My baby is sick, but Mother is here to nurse you.

Michael

Well, now I'm a little sicker.

Gob

Michael, I've been looking for you.

Michael

Looks like you're looking for dragons... In the future.

George Michael

Ann just called. They had a pre-dawn mass. Then they were going to mass, so...

Michael

Ann's got a great deal of mass.

Michael

I think they are too young to get involved that seriously.

My wife and I were about the same age when we got engaged.

Michael

[Glancing at the reverend's wife] Well, yeah, you've gotta lock that down.

Michael

Don't you think they're a bit too young [to get involved]?

Well, we got serious around his age.

Michael

[Glancing at the reverend's wife] Well-who can blame you? You gotta lock that down...

Gob

Well, gee, I never thought the woman I'd be checking out at spring break would be Mom.

Buster

She's better looking than the whores you date.

Gob

Don't call my escorts "whores."

Buster

Mom's still got it!

Gob

I DON'T DATE WHORES!

Lindsay

Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop.

Michael

It's just Mom and whores.

Oh, please. I've been drinking since before you were born. So if alcohol's the reason I'm here, I got news for you, bub. It's the only reason you're here, too.

Michael

Hey, look at that. You're mean sober, too.