George Michael Bluth quotes from Arrested Development

Excuse me, Mrs Fünke.

Oh, this guy again.

Michael

How is he, doctor?

It looks like he's dead.

Oh, my God!

Gob

Oh, little guy. The tears aren't comin'! The tears just aren't comin'!

Michael

Uh, just to be clear: looks like he's dead, or he is dead?

It just looks like he's dead. He's got, like, blue paint on him or something. But he's going to be fine.

Gob

What is wrong with you?

Maeby

This [bleep]ing doctor!

I'll let you celebrate privately.

Lindsay

What did he say? Tell me the last thing he said.

Tobias

[in flashback] I'm afraid I just blue myself.

Michael

He said some wonderful things.

Michael

Well, I better get over there before he brings the whole company down.

Lindsay

It's only been three hours. How much damage could he really do?

Narrator

In three hours, Gob had done $45,000 in damage.

It's not fair to Buster. He's a nervous wreck right now. He's going into the Army, for God's sake.

Michael

You volunteered him.

I knew you were going to throw that in my face.

Michael

[to Gob] Get rid of the Seaward.

I'll leave when I'm good and ready.

Michael

We have a private eye, huh?

Oh, I hired him a hundred years ago to find out if your father was cheating on me. He never did find anything.

Michael

Well, he can't be very good then.

Michael

I think George Michael's hiding Ann in the attic.

Lindsay

From who? The Nazis?

George Michael

I have Pop-Pop in the attic.

Michael

What? The mere fact that you call making love "pop pop" tells me you're not ready.

Oscar

God willing, he'll fail boot camp.

Michael

Well, why wouldn't he? He already failed day camp.

Michael

My mom is very stressed out, and uh, she needs something that I can't give her, um... maybe a little afternoon delight?

Narrator

Oscar thought that Michael was referring to a particular brand of cannabis named Afternoon Delight, a strand famous for slowing behavior.

Oscar

Well, sure, the question is: Which way do I try to get it in her?

Michael

I don't need any details.

Oscar

Maybe I'll put it in her brownie.

Michael

Hey!

Gob

I did the right thing, Michael. If I don't fire them, how do I teach a lesson to the others?

Michael

There are no others. You fired everyone.

Get me a vodka rocks.

Michael

Mom, it's breakfast.

And a piece of toast.

Michael

...We lost our entire outfield, and a couple of court cases.

George Michael

You know who would be great—and not at all litigious—is Ann.

Tobias

My wife is humiliated. This is my chance to right the small wrong that I did.

Michael

You shot her in the ass with about four ounces of horse tranquilizer.

Tobias

I haven't been the perfect husband -- yes, I admit that. But now is my chance to be a hero.

George Sr.

My back is in knots. I haven't had a massage since prison.

Michael

Hope that was forced.