George Michael Bluth quotes from Arrested Development

Lindsay

It's George Michael, he told me. I think he wants a mother.

Michael

Well that's ridiculous. He's got you, he's got our mother. You'd think that would turn him off to the entire concept.

I don't have the milk of mother's kindness in me anymore.

Michael

Yeah. That udder's been dry for a while though, hasn't it?

George Sr.

What are you doing firing Kitty? You can't fire Kitty. First of all, you don't have hiring and firing power.

Michael

I do, and I had to -- she's crazy.

George Sr.

Well, that's why you don't fire her. You don't fire crazy. You never fire crazy.

Michael

I'm not a one-night stand kinda guy, I don't like lying to women.

Gob

These are lawyers. That's Latin for liar.

Michael

Boy, the lengths you'll go to sleep with a woman.

Gob

Believe me, we didn't do any sleeping. I had sex last night.

Narrator

But he really didn't.

Gob

Yes, I did.

Gob

I just had a major night. With a major blonde. Who just majored in Marine Biology, if you know what I mean.

Michael

I don't know what you mean. I can't imagine what that means.

Gob

And now you love the Ten Commandments. And yet you're the one who so conveniently forgot "Thou shalt protect thy father and honor no one above him unless it be-ith me, thy sweet Lord."

Michael

I'm not sure that one made it down the mountain, Gob.

Tobias

As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch.

Michael

Really? When did that start?

Tobias

Well, I don't want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn't help.

Michael

Knock, knock! Where's the married bachelor?

George Sr

Michael, I thought you weren't coming. I thought he wasn't coming.

Michael

Well, I wasn't going to, but he’s my brother and I'm here to support him. Like all these, uh... hot men and Ira.

George Sr

You’re not going to stay? I mean, this isn't your kind of scene.

Michael

Dad, please, stay out of it, all right? I'm here for G.O.B. Now where are the strippers? You got a little back room going, huh? Huh?

Michael

No, hey, just relax! I'm as fun as anybody! I can handle a back room.

Michael

I'm calling the cops.

George Sr.

Michael, this is my brother. Do you know what it's like to have a sibling who has no source of income except for you?

Michael

Just one? No, no idea. It sounds wonderful, though.

Tobias

I'm afraid that this offer comes off the table at midnight.

Michael

That may be the worst bluff I've ever heard.

Narrator

Even the members of Gobias industries agreed on that one.

Michael

Lindsay, new outfit?

Lindsay

This? No, I've had this for years. I think it's a hand-me-down from Mom.

Michael

You got a price tag. Right there.

Lindsay

Is there? I guess she wanted me to have something new. Sweet old thing.

Michael

Only two of those words describe Mom, so I know you're lying to me. And where did you get that outfit?

Lindsay

Old thing got it for me.

Michael

Not really. Kids love boundaries. I mean, look at these girls. (Talking about the "Girls with Low Self-Esteem" tape) Is this what you want?

Tobias

Oh, God, no.

Michael

This could be where your daughter is headed.

Tobias

Oh, no, no, I don't want this for Maeby either.

Michael

I might not be the best witness either. I got a call from Kitty this morning.

Barry Zuckerkorn

Your secretary?

George Sr.

My secretary.

Michael

She says that she's got some evidence and she's threatening to bring down the company unless we meet her demands.

Gob

Oh, that is just great. Now I'm expected to climb back on top of Kitty and do my thing again. I mean, this family runs into problems and it's "Oh, let's have Gob [bleep] our way out of it."

Michael

Tell me the truth, okay? 'Cause there's been a lot of lying in this family.

And a lot of love.

Michael

More lies.