George Michael Bluth quotes from Arrested Development

Michael

Hey, speaking of kidding, How serious are you about Marta? I get the sense that there's not much of a future there. Am I reading that right?

G.O.B

[from inside the prison] Let me ask you something. How would you feel if I came down on you hard?

Michael

You're saying I'm not reading this right.

G.O.B

No, I'm saying move the bike. I need to jump on you to break my fall.

I just couldn't find my keys.

Michael

Well, my brother may have eaten them.

George Sr.

I just haven't had sex in a month.

Michael

You know, you've been here two months.

George Sr.

It's hard to gauge time.

Michael

Yeah, I'll bet.

Gob

I [bleep]ed Kitty!

Michael

Gob! I just wanted you to get the information.

Gob

I got the information.

Michael

You did, huh? About the international accounts?

Gob

Oh, I see what you're getting at. No, I didn't get any information.

Michael

Come on, face it. You just do all this charity crap just to stroke your ego. You don't even know what the auction's for tonight.

Lindsay

The wetlands.

Michael

To do what with them?

Lindsay

Dry them.

Michael

Save them.

Lindsay

From drying.

Supposedly, Luz had to take her daughter to the hospital. That's Lupe, her sister.

Michael

I hope she's okay.

She's awful. Can barely wash a dish.

What'd she do, get you drunk?

Michael

No, we just, uh, well... we -- we did drink a little bit. How'd you know that?

Because that's what she said she'd do. I said you wouldn't give her the money, and she said, "He will if I get him drunk." Probably because she thinks you're a cheap bastard. Oh... her words.

Wayne Jarvis

I use one adjective to describe myself, what is it?

Michael

Professional.

Wayne Jarvis

[shakes head and walks out]

Michael

Did I just wake you up? I didn't even know you were home.

Lindsay

No, Michael, I don't just sleep all day.

Narrator

Actually, Lindsay was so upset at Michael that she tried meditating to calm herself but ended up taking a two-hour angry nap.

Michael

I love Marta.

Lindsay

Mom's housekeeper?

Wayne Jarvis

I shall duck behind the couch.

Michael

What a pro.

Wayne Jarvis

I shall duck behind that little garbage can.

Michael

Guy's a pro

Michael

(to Lucille) Oh, um ... there's a big bowl of candy in my office. Why don't you go eat it?

Wayne Jarvis

Wayne Jarvis, attorney at law. I have a responsibility to tell you that there is no candy in this office.

Michael

Hey, Mom. Remember we had that conversation about trying to cut back on things that aren't necessities?

Like it was yesterday.

Michael

It was this morning.

You're my third least favorite child.

Michael

I can live with that.