Thank you... What was your name again?
Rodney.
Thank you. Asshole.
S4 E3Legs
S4 E4Midnight Ron
...Which is why Ron Cadillac is opting out. And also why Ron Cadillac is going to swing by Montreal on his way home. Because Ron Cadillac is FREAKING EPIC!
Gimme a break ah? That wasn't my fault
[Finishes drinking bourbon, burps] Yeah, no. I mean obviously this was all due to the butterfly effect.
The what?
Butterfly effect. You know, a butterfly in Africa lands on a giraffe's nose, the giraffe sneezes, that spooks a gazelle, the gazelle bonks into a rhinoceros, and the rhinoceros blindly stampedes into a phone booth, calls New York somehow and says "Hey, go kill this idiot Ron, for a suitcase," because the rhinoceros speaks English! [beat] What's in the suitcase, Ron?
S4 E5Vicious Coupling
My cooch has cobwebs!
Damn you, tinnitus, you're a cruel mistress!
Since certain people around here may not see how brilliant my plan is, they're gonna need to be...
Convinced?
I'm sorry, did you say "incapacitated"?
[Climbing into air vent] Holy shit, there really are nerve gas canisters up here. [Beat] I though that was a joke.
Why is Barry rocket-shipping away from the frickin' space station?
Because Newton's Third Law of Motion?
Hey, thanks, Neil deGrasse Tyson!
KSKrieger's Virtual Girlfriend
[aroused] Ooooh! DeGrasse Tyson-san.
S4 E6Once Bitten
I want it officially on record that I am strongly opposed to this mission.
[Laughs] What record?
[To Ray] You're shitting me! Bionic legs and you lift with your back?!
Cyril, if you call ISIS: I will literally, literally murder you! I'd rather die than sit through another one of Lana's I Told You So 's
[Stranded in the desert] Unless I'm hallucinating, there's a Land Cruiser over there flipping his high-beams at us.
CRCyril & Ray
You're hallucinating.
Oh. Well, the good news is we don't have to worry about these alligators... that's not actually good news, is it?
Why not?! Why won't you stand up to Malory with me?
Um, because we don't give a shit?
About the Earth?!
Please! If you really cared, you'd resign, but there's no way you ever will because you're just counting days until, her face bloated and yellow from liver failure, she calls you to her deathbed and in a croaky whisper explains that Mr. Archer is totally incompetent and that you, the long suffering Lana Kane, are the only one qualified to run ISIS and you weep shameful tears because this terrible place is the only true love you will ever know...
[shocked] ...Excuse me... [Leaves]
Daaaaaamn!
What? ...Oh-my-God was I talking?
S4 E7Live and Let Dine
He's a Master Chef! Which, turns out, is not nearly as gay a job as I thought it was. I mean, it's no secret agent, but it's way above architect.
LCLance Casteau
Remember when I said you could've been a great chef?
Yes.
LLance
Every morning I make two cooks like you in the toilet.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Archer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.