Markula quotes from Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Markula

I told you no phones! You're just making me look stupid!

Markula

Carl, have you seen the deadbeats around? You know, "the food".

No, they left in the middle of the night.

Markula

That's because I had demons drag them off into the night. I'm not going to fix a gas leak for them. At this very moment they are being cocooned by military spiders in a cave in the Mojave Desert. That's what I do to a-holes. But not you [the robots]. I would never do that to you. You're free to stay here forever and ever. [Transforms into a bat] Now, feast! [leaves]

Feast on what, man?

Oh, boy! Invisible robot meat! My favorite.

Look, kids! Invisible robot meat!

Robot meat! Robot meat! Robot meat!

...All right, if you need anything [holds a flame to the gas leak setting the house on fire] do not-do not come next door.

Uh, let's be frank, that gas leak is going to kill anyone who tries to live in here...

Markula

I'm not fixing that gas leak for you or anybody!

All right, I mean, are you dead set on that price? I mean, 20 grand a month man.

Markula

I need that money. The cost of blood is going up. I need to feed.

Yeah, you keep throwing around words like "blood" and "feed". I mean, feed what man?

Markula

Never you mind. I've said too much already. Oh, I'm so stupid. Stupid!

Come on man pick up the phone. [Markula doesn't answer yet] Man, pick up the freakin' phone.

Markula

[phone rings a few times before answering] Why have you disturbed my slumber at this hour?

Do you hear that? Listen...

[Screaming]

Markula

Yes, and it is beautiful.

Uh, not to me man. And I called the cops, and they uh... took one look... and kept driving.

Markula

You leave my tenant alone!

He's screaming his head off over there! I'm about to get my balls up there and uh... make it my business.

Markula

With what? You can't stop him. He will shred you like a sheet.

Yeah, he definitely has me on weight.

Oh, my God...

Markula

Listen... just give him a couple days. He's going through a difficult custody battle.

Stupid bitch!

Just so you know, he's ripping all the copper out of your house, and just hauled ass down the street.

That bitch! Got the minivan and the damn convertible!

Markula

Oh, he's probably just getting some money for a fix.

You see that? Look at that!

Markula

See what?

THAT!

Markula

No I don't see what. Everything is fine Carl, just relax. They're only kids.

They're just- No there's one of them and he's a freaking monster!

Markula

He's not a monst- shhhhh.

I can talk when I want where I wan-

I mean uh... yeah... I don't know... uh... yeah... I was talking about this guy at work, he's a monster...

What does she even need two cars for?!

Markula

Oh, Paul, good morning, and how was your fix? Did you ride the white horse?

[to Carl] What did you do to my house?!

Markula

Carl, what did YOU do to Paul's house?

Look here! I'm getting, uh... I'm uh... I'm having a city, uh... ordinance... neighborhood watch... I'm gonna uh... make some stuff happen, and you better...

Markula

You're so mad.

You clean it up at your own pace, because I know you're big, but...

Markula

Hahahahaha! No one likes you!

I'm so pissed off!

Markula

Fryman, this could all go away if you would simply pay me for October...and YOU fix the gas leak!

Shake

I'm not fixing that gas leak for me or anyone else, you son of a bitch!

Frylock

Save it Shake.

Markula

Yes, save it, for tomorrow it won't matter when we play pin the tail on the Shake, and we bob for meatballs, and then we'll play ignore the Fryman.

I'm playin' it right now.

Markula

Lordy Lordy! Look who's turning 4040! [pause] What? You don't RSVP?

Well, you just handed this to me.

Alright let's give it up for the birthday boy, Markula! How old are you?

Markula

I am the one turning 4040.

[Quietly] Four thousand forty? [Loudly] That is old!!