Aqua Teen Hunger Force · Season 5
“Reedickyoulus” · Season 5
In this episode: Master Shake (9), Frylock (7), Meatwad (6), Carl (1)
(singing to his new pet cat, Terrence) Terrence, you have my heart. Terrence, you have my soul. Terrence, you ate a bug today, he's no longer moving. You spit him out, his shell don't taste good. But you ate part of his brain. This is home, this is Mean Street.
(grabs Terrence) It is time. (Shake leaves with Terrence to the kitchen, as the sound of a microwave turning on is heard)
A lot of time, these Korean capacitors can't take this many ohms, and then double the problems when you're trying to defrost somebody's kitty cat in there.
Someone's kitty cat? WHOSE kitty cat?
Whose do ya think?
Yours?
(picks up a cat) This is Mr. Sparkles. He is a magician and he is NOT to be touched!
Well then whose kitty cat are we talkin' here?
Well do the math. You had one, now you have none. What does that equal?
(pause) Terrence, NO!
Terrence— BOOOOM!!
Terrence! My... (sniffles) skinless love...
I am the king! (chuckles)
Oh, yeah, and the KING is going to sleep out in the yard tonight.
The grass? That is not a slumber chamber fit for a king!
He was a fine pet, good friend, and he was very cherished and...what was he?
It's a SHE, thank you, and his name was Terrence.
Oh, sorry, Meatwad, yes, SHE, and now she's gone. Her life (sniffle) snuffed out in its prime — oh, my God, what is that smell?
I'll tell you what. It's called Carl. Right there, where he dropped that deuce!
You're not gonna be able to stop him now.
What do you mean?
It's called Reedickyoulous. Ain't you never seen the ad on TV? "Hey, baby, come by to PICK you up later," only it ain't "pick" they sayin'. It's another word that sounds like "pick", but it's like an inverted p at the beginning, so, you know, it's a different word that sounds like "pick", but it ain't the word "pick". It's a different word...
I get it, I get it.
Then get it — get me one.
What does it do?
It lengthens, strengthen, hardens, girthens, straightens, satisfies, and fully pleasures your crotch.
It doesn't look safe.
It's not — they've been sued many times, but women don't get turned on by safe. They crave danger.
Yeah, they want a man who'll try anything, no matter how disreputable the company.
(Carl's Reedickyoulous is running loudly throughout)
Hey, check that out!
(Mr. Sparkles is in the microwave)
What?
Yeah, I know! You're sad about it, right?
(still can't hear) What?
Hold on. (holds up post-it reading, "Your Cat — Dead!!" Meatwad writes one saying, "It's your cat, not mine.") Mr. Sparkles! (Sparkles explodes in microwave)
What?
If you experience symptoms such as gleaming feces, luminescent groin flesh, or ghosts are escaping out of your anus, please press 1.
(talking on phone) Yeah, well, I have experienced some symptoms, yes. [Rapid chatter on other end.] No, I won't sign a release. [Chatter] Yeah, sure, a set of steak knives sound good. What's your point? [Chatter] They'll cut through a can? And then they'll cut tomato? (Walks outside) You need an address or... [Chatter] You can see me? How is that... (tranquilizer dart hits Carl in the throat, and he falls over. A helicopter flies down and a tether picks him up, the helicopter leaves).
Look at this! It's melted straight through the floor!
Don't bring that shit in my house!
The radioactive mercury isotopes are off the charts. Do you know what this means?
Yeah. It means new carpets, bitch!
Hell, yeah, it does! Gimme some!
(he has a cigarette in his mouth and ready to smoke) Let's all smoke some cigarettes to celebrate.
No, Shake! The gas leak!
All right (throws his cigarette away), MOM!
(Meatwad answers the door and sees zombie animals) It's a reunion. Group hug.
Meatwad back away! There all zombified.
(Comes out and notices the gorilla) When did you get a gorilla?
Oh, you don't remember this guy? back in '02. I got tired of always loosing them hamsters you know. So I splurged, 'get me a gorilla'.
(Speaking in grunts and sign language) Yeah, you don't remember? Shoving me into a microwave?
(Now a zombie, Returning after sex with the zombie ape) Do I have a big smile on my face? Oh, I'll never kiss and tell...but I pounded that ape, twice...
Meatwad, back away.
[Pushes Meatwad away from Shake, into the hole in the floor]
Yeah, and bow down to the king of ape sex!
(Frylock slices off Shake's top — from the nose up — with a battle axe)
I'm sorry you had to see that, Meatwad, but in order to kill a zombie, you have to separate the brain from the spine.
(bottom portion standing up) Hey, I just heard, like, a pop, did you hear that?
Goddamn Wikipedia!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Aqua Teen Hunger Force pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
