MMeatwad
I'm sorry Carl, but I think that you need to leave. You upsettin' Hand Banana.
Heh heh, yeah, well, you know, he "upset" me pretty bad too. I don't know if I can sleep anymore. You ever been raped by a dog?
See, I think that's what Hell is like, you know. Constantly raped by dogs.
That, you know, I don't know if I believe in God, but.. I think he must hate me.
Because he allowed you to create a dog that constantly rapes me.
[Shake is about to stick his hands in a bee's nest to make them bigger.]
This is totally gonna work.
MMeatwad
Okay, I'm inside and I got your doors and windows closed. Go on and do it.
[Shake sticks his hands into the nest.]
MMeatwad
How does that feel?
I can feel them getting bigger.
MMeatwad
They-they look like they getting you in the eyeballs too.
Well, I know that. If I rip any solos with my eyeballs, I'm gonna need the bee's venom to enlarge them. You know, otherwise I get on stage looking like a big asshole, and I am not that.
(Finishing time machine) That's it! Now, who wants to make history and go back in time?
(staring at a scorpion on the floor) Yeah, we're busy
You could meet president Lincoln!
MMeatwad
I'll eat it.... if you eat it
All right, deal! Wait a minute... how are you gonna eat it after I eat it?
MMeatwad
Look, you eat it, then I go back in time to before the time that you eat it, then I'll eat it
Gentlemen, we have a time machine, and this is the key to Frylock's health. We can break it apart, light it on fire, and smoke the cancer out!
MMeatwad
Well, don't smokin', like, cause cancer?
That has never been proven.
(duct-taped to a rocket, talking to Frylock) Hey! Time to destroy the sun, right now buddy, and it's ALL for you baby! FRYLOCK FOREVER! Light it up, Meatwad!
MMeatwad
Already done it, like 5 minutes ago.
Wait! I need my goggles! I need my UV ray gogg- 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 BLAST OFF!! (the rocket explodes)
[Master Shake and Meatwad call Frylock from prison]
MMeatwad
Oh, O.K. Ahh, hey man... How's it going?
Do you know what time it is?
MMeatwad
Do you? Because it's, it's 4.20 somewhere! I know that!... Ain't that the phrase?
Gimmie that phone! Look, before I start speaking don't even think about getting angry, because if you do, I swear, I will hang up on you!
Shake what is it? What's wrong?
O.K. Your jumping in already, O.K. We, we got into a little bit of trouble.
MMeatwad
Tell him nothing's wrong.
But let me preface by saying, we were framed.
We were just the guys that happened to be there!
Allright, What was a set up?
Wow, now why would I talk to somebody who speaks to me in that tone?
Will you just tell me what it is you did wrong?
Oh what? You think do er... everything right?
O.K. I see what's happened here. You got another D.U.I didn't you?
MMeatwad
Hang up on his ass.
I'm gonna have to bus down there! O.K?
I'm gonna have to take the bus from now on permanently, according to what some guy told me. And I ain't riding that cheese box. It's a major deterrent, for the women!
MMeatwad
Women will not kiss you on the bus.
O.K. Look, it's gonna take me a while.
MMeatwad
Hang up on his ass.
[Shake and Meatwad are in a holding cell]
MMeatwad
Hey, my man over here. He wants a daiquiri now. He says I got ta smuggle one back in...up my butt hole.
Oh … the fresh or the mix?
Oh God, that would be so cold.
Carl! Well, well, well … look who's off to the slammer!
I bailed you out, dumbass.
Oh, well good, I'm drivin', let's go.
No, you have no control of your bladder!
[Carl drives off]
[last lines]
[Frylock is performing brain surgery on Carl]
Whoa, what the hell is that?
It's a BB. It was lodged in his frontal lobe. But how did he get a BB in his brain?
[flashback to sometime earlier in the day … Master Shake is cocking a BB gun with the spirit of Bart Oates behind him]
Milkshake, we're in the goal line offense, baby. You gotta score. You're a champ, buddy. Go all the way.
[Master Shake shoots Carl (off screen) with the BB gun]
[back to present time]
MMeatwad
[pause] Shoot I dunno, I need to figure out how to shove a daiquiri up my butt.
[Shake shows off a flashy, high-tech, chrome grill.]
MMeatwad
Ah, yeah! We grillin' tonight!
Now here's what's different about this my friends: it uses actual pieces of the sun, combined with some radioactive vials from Chernobyl, and I know this is interesting also to the ladies out there, it uses them to heat burgers, steaks, chicken; no problem. And, best of all, it's not even suppposed to be inside this country.
Aqua Teen Hunger Force · 785 quotes
