You know what? I want a dog.
Well, let's go make one.
Frylock, I want some money.
Well, then get a job!
He gets t-(stutters). He gets what he wants. "Just make it for him!"
“Hand Banana” · Season 4
In this episode: Carl (9), Hand Banana (6), Master Shake (5), Meatwad (4), Frylock (3)
Have you seen what they're doin' back there?
CCarl
What are you talkin' about? Back where?
… I'm tellin'.
CCarl
Tellin' on who? Or what?
Meatwad and Frylock. They told me not to tell anyone, but I'm tellin' you.
[Frylock and Meatwad are making a dog in Carl's pool]
It ain't workin'.
Oh, let's see.
I'm gonna break it.
Oh, you're supposed to add DNA.
What's a DNA?
CCarl
It stands for: Do Not, uh.... enter my pool... Ass man."
See, see what they're doing? I don't know he even knows!
Carl, do me a favor and spit in that pool.
CCarl
Oh, you mean my pool?
Oh, is this your pool?
CCarl
Yeah, it is.
Can I go swimming?
CCarl
No, you may not!
How about if I swim in it?
CCarl
No!
Well, do you mind if we make a dog in it?
CCarl
Yeah, I do mind. Very much, if that's cool.
Yeah, he does mind!
You haven't been using it!
CCarl
That's not the point.
He's going to very soon!
CCarl
Just because I haven't been using it doesn't mean like..... here, turn it into a dog laboratory!
(music suddenly becomes intense) Tonight... you.
[Hand Banana has entered Carl's house]
CCarl
What the hell? No, no, no, no. Bad boy, bad boy, you live over there. Go-go back to the freaks.
(music suddenly becomes intense) Who're you callin' boy? My name's Hand Banana.
CCarl
What, you-you talkin' to me here?
No, not anymore. [slams front door shut] We're done talkin'.
CCarl
Hang on, let me bend over and pick this thing up here. [As he bends down to pick up his remote control, Hand Banana anally rapes Carl] Hand Banana, no!
[Hand Banana is a pastry chef]
Well I'll tell you what, as long as I get these muffins, I don't give a crap what he does. He's a winner in my book. In fact, I'm gonna make a couple of dogs tonight. Start a restaurant with 'em, call it "Dogs". I'm gonna work on that name, too, because that does not seem good to me.
There's a Hand Banana. Good boy.
CCarl
Oh, he's not a boy anymore... he's a man. 'Cause he just raped me!
Do you think you could back that up?
CCarl
Listen to this guy, "can back that up"... I got bruises to prove it!
No, no. I mean that ass. Back it up... yeah.
CCarl
Do you hear what he's saying here?!
Sound like someone wants to get raped again!
[Frylock doesn't believe that in one day Hand Banana could learn the English language.]
See? All I know is "ball" and "good"... and "rape."
I'm sorry Carl, but I think that you need to leave. You upsettin' Hand Banana.
CCarl
Heh heh, yeah, well, you know, he "upset" me pretty bad too. I don't know if I can sleep anymore. You ever been raped by a dog?
Uh uh.
CCarl
See, I think that's what Hell is like, you know. Constantly raped by dogs.
Carl—
CCarl
That, you know, I don't know if I believe in God, but.. I think he must hate me.
Carl—
CCarl
Because he allowed you to create a dog that constantly rapes me.
[about Hand Banana, who, unbeknownst to Carl, is faking Frylock's voice, and listening to Carl]
CCarl
He's a friggin' menace! And, uh, you know, technically, he's supposed to be spayed, and uh, he ain't that. [scoffs] I know that first hand. Go ahead, ask me how I know. Go ahead. Ask me. Ask me how I know.
CCarl
Oh man, that is a load of my mind … knowin' that rapist is gone. Man, feel good out here, just might uh, get nude. [Drops his pants] Shine some sun, where 'da sun don't shine, you know what I mean? Hehehe, long past the point of caring on this.[sits naked face-down on lawn-chair]
[enters Carl's backyard] (music suddenly becomes intense) You, uh, basting that turkey today?
CCarl
Huh, what's that?
Think its time to take your temperature... see if the meat's just right... [Handbanana leaps onto Carl's butt and starts to brutally anal rape Carl]
CCarl
[screaming] NO!! NOOOO!!!!!
[Carl is already making his own dog, while trying to explain his revelation to Hand Banana, who is still raping him]
CCarl
See, you don't know what rape is like. For years, I thought it was funny. 'Oh, yeah. Rape's so funny.' Until you've been raped. You're about to find out what that's like, Hand Banana.
Hey, let's think about this.
CCarl
Oh, we're done thinking. 'Cause, see, every time I think, you're there... haunting my dreams!
Come on, now. I'll be good.
CCarl
No, see, I don't think that you can, but I'll show you how to be good! Hand Banana, I want you to meet … the Enforcer.
SSpaghetti
I want my name to be "Spaghetti".
CCarl
All right, Spaghetti. Whatever, I don't care. Just, you know, just do what I tell ya.
SSpaghetti
What the hell are you lookin' at?
CCarl
I'm your father, I just made you.
SSpaghetti
[laughing] I got your father right here! Heheheh, I got your daddy!
CCarl
All right, enough talkin' with the dogs, here.
[From their house, the Aqua Teens watch Spaghetti and Hand Banana rape Carl.]
CCarl
NO NO PLEASE! SPAGHETTI!! NO NO PLEASE, SPAGHETTI!!
Wow. You don't see that every day.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Aqua Teen Hunger Force pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.