Master Shake quotes from Aqua Teen Hunger Force

You know what? I want a dog.

Frylock

Well, let's go make one.

Master Shake

Frylock, I want some money.

Frylock

Well, then get a job!

Master Shake

He gets t-(stutters). He gets what he wants. "Just make it for him!"

Master Shake

Have you seen what they're doin' back there?

What are you talkin' about? Back where?

Master Shake

… I'm tellin'.

Tellin' on who? Or what?

Master Shake

Meatwad and Frylock. They told me not to tell anyone, but I'm tellin' you.

It ain't workin'.

Frylock

Oh, let's see.

I'm gonna break it.

Frylock

Oh, you're supposed to add DNA.

What's a DNA?

It stands for: Do Not, uh.... enter my pool... Ass man."

Master Shake

See, see what they're doing? I don't know he even knows!

Frylock

Carl, do me a favor and spit in that pool.

Oh, you mean my pool?

Oh, is this your pool?

Yeah, it is.

Can I go swimming?

No, you may not!

Master Shake

How about if I swim in it?

No!

Well, do you mind if we make a dog in it?

Yeah, I do mind. Very much, if that's cool.

Master Shake

Yeah, he does mind!

Frylock

You haven't been using it!

That's not the point.

Master Shake

He's going to very soon!

Just because I haven't been using it doesn't mean like..... here, turn it into a dog laboratory!

NO NO PLEASE! SPAGHETTI!! NO NO PLEASE, SPAGHETTI!!

Master Shake

Wow. You don't see that every day.

Master Shake

This is totally gonna work.

Okay, I'm inside and I got your doors and windows closed. Go on and do it.

Master Shake

Roger that.

How does that feel?

Master Shake

I can feel them getting bigger.

They-they look like they getting you in the eyeballs too.

Master Shake

Well, I know that. If I rip any solos with my eyeballs, I'm gonna need the bee's venom to enlarge them. You know, otherwise I get on stage looking like a big asshole, and I am not that.

[Jumps out from offside and begins singing 'Party Party Party']

Master Shake

All right!! Andrew W.K, live in our living room!!

Oh God. He looks like he's dead already.

Frylock

[through the door] Thanks, Carl. 'Preciate that.

Master Shake

I think the problem was the song. You got any other, uh, you know, uh, happier...songs about partyin'?

Master Shake

Hey! Let's party! P-p-p-party tonight!

Frylock

Will you all get the funk out of here? [coughs] Look, my doctor says I need to get as much rest as possible so please...

Shake

Yeah! Get the funk outta here! [Frylock looks at shake annoyed.] And I am now leaving as well. [Walks out and closes door.]

Master Shake

MAGAZINE WAR!! (Throws a magazine at Meatwad)

(Returning fire) "Better Homes and Gardens" 1! Fire!

Master Shake

Eat my "Redbook"!

"Better Homes and Gardens" 2!

Frylock

(Finishing time machine) That's it! Now, who wants to make history and go back in time?

Master Shake

(staring at a scorpion on the floor) Yeah, we're busy

Eat it

Master Shake

YOU eat it

Frylock

You could meet president Lincoln!

Master Shake

Lincoln's dead!

I'll eat it.... if you eat it

Master Shake

All right, deal! Wait a minute... how are you gonna eat it after I eat it?

Look, you eat it, then I go back in time to before the time that you eat it, then I'll eat it

Master Shake

Okay. (Eats scorpion)

Master Shake

Gentlemen, we have a time machine, and this is the key to Frylock's health. We can break it apart, light it on fire, and smoke the cancer out!

Well, don't smokin', like, cause cancer?

Master Shake

That has never been proven.

Master Shake

(duct-taped to a rocket, talking to Frylock) Hey! Time to destroy the sun, right now buddy, and it's ALL for you baby! FRYLOCK FOREVER! Light it up, Meatwad!

Already done it, like 5 minutes ago.

Master Shake

Wait! I need my goggles! I need my UV ray gogg- 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 BLAST OFF!! (the rocket explodes)

Frylock

(Yawn) Hello?

Hello.

Frylock

Hello?

Hello.

Frylock

Hello?

... Hello.

Frylock

Hellloo?

Hellloo.

Frylock

I'm here!

Oh, O.K. Ahh, hey man... How's it going?

Frylock

Do you know what time it is?

Do you? Because it's, it's 4.20 somewhere! I know that!... Ain't that the phrase?

Frylock

Are you drunk?

Mmmmhmmmm

Master Shake

Gimmie that phone! Look, before I start speaking don't even think about getting angry, because if you do, I swear, I will hang up on you!

Frylock

Shake what is it? What's wrong?

Master Shake

O.K. Your jumping in already, O.K. We, we got into a little bit of trouble.

Tell him nothing's wrong.

Master Shake

But let me preface by saying, we were framed.

Frylock

What?

Master Shake

We were just the guys that happened to be there!

We were framed!

Master Shake

It was a total set up!

Frylock

Allright, What was a set up?

Master Shake

Wow, now why would I talk to somebody who speaks to me in that tone?

Frylock

Will you just tell me what it is you did wrong?

Master Shake

Oh what? You think do er... everything right?

Frylock

O.K. I see what's happened here. You got another D.U.I didn't you?

Hang up on his ass.

Frylock

I'm gonna have to bus down there! O.K?

Master Shake

I'm gonna have to take the bus from now on permanently, according to what some guy told me. And I ain't riding that cheese box. It's a major deterrent, for the women!

Women will not kiss you on the bus.

Frylock

O.K. Look, it's gonna take me a while.

Hang up on his ass.

Hey, my man over here. He wants a daiquiri now. He says I got ta smuggle one back in...up my butt hole.

Master Shake

Oh … the fresh or the mix?

Fresh.

Master Shake

Oh God, that would be so cold.

Master Shake

Carl! Well, well, well … look who's off to the slammer!

I bailed you out, dumbass.

Master Shake

Oh, well good, I'm drivin', let's go.

I'm drivin'

Master Shake

No, you have no control of your bladder!

Master Shake

Whoa, what the hell is that?

Frylock

It's a BB. It was lodged in his frontal lobe. But how did he get a BB in his brain?

Milkshake, we're in the goal line offense, baby. You gotta score. You're a champ, buddy. Go all the way.

(screams)

[pause] Shoot I dunno, I need to figure out how to shove a daiquiri up my butt.

Master Shake

Mmm, that a George Foreman grill?

Frylock

Uh, no. George Washington.

Master Shake

Couldn't afford the real one, huh?

Frylock

Oh, and like you can?

Master Shake

Shut—you shut your mouth.