[In falsetto from shock at seeing Francine's new figure]
B-b-b-b-boner from body! Body give boner! Beautiful body give baby boner! Oh mommy!
S15One-Woman Swole
DDoctor
Are you guys on drugs?
Very much.
Yes. An incredible amount, yes.
S15Top of the Steve
HMHeadmistress Mahoney
Enjoy your last night at Pendlingtonton. I assume you'll need the next 12 hours to pack up all your jock straps and Gold Bond.
Am I the first man you've ever met?
HMHeadmistress Mahoney
Come in, Steve.
I didn't even knock.
HMHeadmistress Mahoney
Oh, I could hear your little pecker swinging to and fro all the way down the hall. Clanging against your thighs like a church bell.
LGLatina Girl
Hola, Steve. I'm the new foreign exchange student. In less than three years, this performance will be considered offensive.
VDVan Driver
No Beatles ever!
S15The Future is Borax
[Trying to save their marriage with a balloon ride] And now our last hope is a balloon shaped like my nutsack.
You wish your nutsack was as red as this.
[Regarding their entry in the Pizza Overlord Jingles contest] For ours, I wrote the melody, and Klaus wrote the lyrics. I can't stress that enough: Klaus wrote the lyrics.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's American Dad! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.