Jeff Fischer quotes from American Dad!

Roger

Now this is getting ridiculous! Want me to walk you home again?

Jeff

It didn't help last time! [storms off]

Roger

Sheesh, just trying to help the kid out. [the door closes offscreen, Roger stretches his arms, his bones crack] I'm gonna rape him this time.

Hayley

Jeff, do you know why you're shouting?!

Jeff

'Cause of that damn helicopter!

Hayley

Where did you get a pregnancy test with sound effects?

Jeff

At Spencer's Gifts.

Hayley

Oh yeah, I owe you a dime. Just grab it out of the change bowl.

Roger

Is there a thousand dollars cash in that bowl? 'Cause that's what a dime is in gambler's lingo.

Hayley

Who knows that?!

Jeff

Everyone knows that, babe. I thought you were crazy to make that bet. I almost said something.

Jeff

Roger said I have to stay in the closet because I'm dead. Do I get to be alive, now?

Hayley

Sorry, babe.

Jeff

It's okay. I've got my animal crackers and my bathroom bucket.