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S9

American Dad! · Season 9

“Why Can't We Be Friends?” quotes from American Dad!

4 quotes

“Why Can't We Be Friends?” · Season 9

In this episode: Roger (2), Stan Smith (1), Steve Smith (1), Francine Smith (1), Jeff Fischer (1)

[Stan looks at photos of him and Snot]

Oh, Snot. You were wearing your bathing suit as underwear that day. [puts it back in the envelope]

Oh, is that a letter for Snot? I'll mail it for you.

[hands Stan the letter] Thanks. This is my fifth letter to him. I hope this time he writes me back.

Doubt it. Snot's probably moved on with his life and I think it's time you did too. [hands him a net] Here, I signed you up for lacrosse.

Dad, I'm not a physical boy.

Well, now that Snot's not here to drag you down, you can do anything. Let's see what you can do with that lacrosse stick.

[Steve puts it on his head]

What are you doing?

Playing lunch lady. Pizza or sloppy joe?

[sighs] I am pissed off because you're doing that and now I want a sloppy joe and I know you don't really have one.

Now this is getting ridiculous! Want me to walk you home again?

It didn't help last time! [storms off]

Sheesh, just trying to help the kid out. [the door closes offscreen, Roger stretches his arms, his bones crack] I'm gonna rape him this time.

[as Jeff blows his whistle] Is that the "Come Back and Kick Me" whistle?

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