Dunderheads! I can't even deal with all this... modern nonsense! The rest of you beat it!
S7 E10May I Come In
Marceline, listen to me. You will never defeat the Vampire King. You can't even defeat me in your current state. [Marceline sits down in Jake-House]
All right, what do you want?
The truth is, I hate the King as much as you do. He's a total dink. I came looking for you because I want to team up. Then you started tempting me with boy blood [LSP flirts at him saying "Hey!"] and hurling spiky purple gobs at me. Here's the dope. You need me. [Marceline moves LSP back]
LLSP
Yeah, okay, girl, you got this.
I don't know how it finally happened, but... he must have let you beat him.
[cut to Vampire King biting Marceline's neck while being staked]
Am I right?
[beat, facepalms] Ugh!! All right. Say we do work together, you need to give up drinking blood. [turns invisible]
I'm a vampire! Drinking blood is kind of the main thing.
And you can drink red just as easy. [he grunts] No hurting poor, scared blood-filled animals.
[beat] Well, then I suppose I have no choice. I'm just going to waste you [grabs Marceline by the neck] and eat that kid because that's what an old-school vampire does! [behind the rustling bush comes out a crying Crunchy]
CCrunchy
I don't wanna play anymore! [bumps Hierophant into Jake-House]
[gasps] No! I-I wasn't invited! [disintegrates] NOOOOO...!!
[Marceline flies over and sucks his essence; she absorbs the laughing soul inside of her. Finn observes his skull and bones]
Geez. What happened?
Dude was too old-fashioned for his own good. He just couldn't get with the times.
S7 E11Take Her Back
[Finn and Jake burp constantly to a severely poisoned Marceline]
Cut it out! That's not helping her!
But Mom and Dad always burped on us.
It's a cure-all!
Sorry, guys, there are no cure-alls. Your parents were just burping on you for kicks.
Oh, yeah, that makes sense. [burps] Oh, sorry, last one.
Auh! What did you eat, Jake?!
Hey, now! I pride myself in having nice-smelling burps. Just kidding.
Pride, hmm. Do you guys know what "hubris" is?
It's like an old-timey deity who weighed your deeds on a scale.
No, it means excessive pride or arrogance.
LLSP
That's like you, PB.
Dude!
No, it's true. I believed in myself so much that I was blind to the possible consequences.
LLSP
Don't believe in yourself so much then, dum-dum!
[crying] Now my best friend is dying of poison because of me.
That ain't true, PB! Marcy took a risk, and you helped her because you're her friend. Real friends take each other to the edge of death. 'Cause death is life! Right, Finn?
Shoot, yeah! I get poisoned all the time just doing the dishes.
I get poisoned on purpose—for research. I have a poison lab back at the castle.
Well, let's get our butts over there, then! Find the Moon, Finn. We'll work on an antidote. You guys take her back to the poison lab. Maybe we can extract her healing powers.
Word. [everyone runs off except LSP]
LLSP
Hey, wait! What should I do? You guys? [pushes a stake out of her] Brrrrr... Hahahahaha!
S7 E12Checkmate
How many times do you want to do this, Marceline? Our lives are magnetised. [Marceline morphs further and charges at him] We're in a negative loop. But we can change our outcome this time!
I like the outcome where you get staked!
And you become a vampire?
Rrrrh... [morphs back to normal with her head being held]
Marceline... [she starts punching his arm] I know I was ruthless in the past, but tell me. What's the one thing you've noticed about the world since you beat me all those hundreds of years ago?
Everything repeats over and over again. No-one learns anything, because no-one lives long enough to see the pattern, I guess.
But you've lived long enough.
I know, duh.
And you still think this is the right way, fighting me?
The other way's like a black hole. An unknown.
So let's consult a witch.
[she immediately punches his face, sending him flying into a large thick cloud. She gets a spare stake from her left boot]
No witches.
[as she flies over, the thick clouds part away to see a vocalising Vampire King in a cloud pool and shreds his suit]
I'm not afraid of the unknown! [pounding his chest] I have the power to change destiny! [shoots a twirling column of water high in the sky, thunder crashes] Queen of vampires! You weigh the scales of fate! Spill my guts or face the unknown! Either way, I will not bite! For turning you would subjugate me to the wheel of fortune, and I am a king, not a hamster. My path runs straight into the void on a sick flaming chariot! [bursts column and rains on Finn, Jake and Bubblegum]
FJFinn/Jake/Bubblegum
Whoa...
Stake me! I will not hide! [shreds his pants, thunder crashes] Do it, chicken! You make me sick! [drops down and squirms in his cloud pool]
Okay, dag! We'll take your stupid thing out!
My what?
Your dang vamp juice! Come on!
Cool.
S7 E13The Dark Cloud
Ohh, I'm gonna poop my pants if Finn kills this guy instead of me!
Well... finally did it, big guy. You won. Well played. [watches Bubblegum, Finn and Jake as they subdue the giant cloud monster] Just kind of wish you would've gotten it over with a thousand years ago and saved us all some trouble.
[the giant cloud monster passes underneath Marceline, drenching her as it heads to the Candy Kingdom]
Better late than never, I guess. [sighs, sings]
Smelled something bad
Just a sec, now it's gone
Was it there all along?
Smelled like garbage and cheese
Was it just on the breeze
Or was it me?
[another voice sings along] Was it reality? [she sees a flying ice wizard]
You remembered my song! [chuckling, lands down]
Simon? Wh... what are you doing here?
Well, I saw through my peeping scope that everything was going boom and exploding and monsters, and all my friends were in grave danger and horrible torment.
And you wanted to help?
No!! I felt left out. I'm just a phone call away, you know. [Marceline hugs behind Simon, tearing up]
I'm sorry, Simon. Next time, for sure. [sighs, sits down] Anyway, you don't want in on this fight. This one's a loser.
[sits beside her] Oh, I see. Sittin' this one out, huh?
Yeah, I guess. And don't try to talk me out of it.
What? No, no, I'm right there with you. You and me, we're survivors, right? Like cockroaches or rats. Sure, you could fight and try to save the day, but what if you lose? Then what? You could die! Better to run and hide like a rat. Right, buddy? [holds her in his embrace]
[pushes him] Unh! Did you just call me a cockroach, Simon?!
What? No! No, no, no... no.
[beat] Thanks, buddy.
..Yes.
Let's go in the garden, you'll find something waiting
Right there where you left it lying upside down
When you finally find it, you'll see how it's faded
The underside is lighter when you turn it around.
Everything stays right where you left it
Everything stays but it still changes
Ever so slightly, daily and nightly
In little ways when everything stays.
Go down to the ocean
The crystal tide is waiting
Water's gotten higher as
The shore washes out
Keep your eyes wide open,
Even when the sun is blazin
The moon controls the tide,
It could cause you to drown
S7 E14The More You Moe, the Moe You Know
BBMO
Air? Are you there, Air? It's me, BMO. [walks to a snow-covered rock and sits down] I know it's been a long time since we talked. Sorry about that. But, well... maybe if you don't want to talk, you could just listen. Moe told me if I do this thing, I'll be all grown up. And that sounds cool, I guess. Like... [see a much taller BMO in his car] If I was grown, then I could drive to the playground all by myself. And... I could buy my own pacifiers at the store if I was grown. [tall BMO struggles to open the door] But then... if I change, will Finn and Jake still love me? [see smeared versions of Finn and Jake] Will I still love them? Moe changed into a new body... and he's still the same, I guess, sorta. But does growing up just change your body? Or... also your soul? [sighs] Maybe I could just stay the same forever.
[BMO falls out of trash compactor vent into a pile of debris]
DDebris
[spoke] "Who-who's there? Moe?"
BBMO
No, it's only me... BMO.
DDebris
"BMO? Oh, thank goodness. Oh, us so glad you're here."
BBMO
Who are you? Are you a MO too?
DDebris
"Oh, BMO, no, no, no. I am All MOs."
BBMO
All MOs? Uhh... I don't understand.
AMAll MOs
"Of course not. I'm so sorry. Let me explain." [flashback to an earlier point in time] "Peace had reigned at Moe's wondrous factory for a hundred hundred years. There was a place for every MO, and every MO was in its place. If you wanted a free hug, all you had to do was ask. No-one could say no. It was a rule. Until one fateful day—yesterday—when a mysterious viral signal somehow breached our firewall and was broadcast throughout the factory, instructing all us MOs to do somersaults into the trash compactor all day long..."
BBMO
That's horrible.
AMAll MOs
"And we've been trapped here all smushed together ever since."
BBMO
That's horrible, too. How... how do we get out?
AMAll MOs
"Well, that's why we're so glad you're here, BMO. You're the key, the key to escape. Only you can save us now."
S7 E20Bad Jubies
[LSP sees Jake seated on a cliff edge in front of a sunset, floats over and shouts at him]
LLSP
Excuse me!! Are you not aware that we are all working our steamy butts off down there so we don't get wiped out by this crazy sky nightmare?!
Whoa, whoa! Hold up! I'm working on something up here. It's—
LLSP
I SEE NOTHING!! YOU'RE WORKING ON NOTHING!!
Look, LSP, can we just take a moment to appreciate this... moment? Look at this crazy sweet sunset. [sees a cloud swirling in the sunset] When's the next time you're gonna see a sunset like this? Or any sunset, really? [wipes a tear leak off his eyes] Who knows how long we'll be down there? [an eagle lands on Jake's hand along with some critters and birds before LSP gets impatient and loses it]
LLSP
BWAAAHHHH!!! I obviously love sunsets and cute animals, but we don't have time for this right now!!
But I—
LLSP
You know what? [inhales sharply] I just can't with you right now. [turns back away from Jake]
Can't what? [the eagle lands back on his head, screeches]
Guys, I think this storm is more than just some scary clouds and weather junk. We've been treating each other like ding-dongs since we've been down here.
LLSP
Duh! This bunker is the worst!
Nah, nah. I think this storm's carrying some major negative energy or something.
Bad jubies.
It's making us all go nanners! I think I can help, though. Let me show you what I've been working on.
[he clears his throat, takes a deep breath and starts whistling as birds chirping. Finn, LSP and BMO stare at Jake for a beat. He then mimics water and frog sounds; he takes a deep breath and makes forest sounds. BMO is moved and wipes off his tear]
BBMO
That is so beautiful!
S7 E23Crossover
Thanks for responding to my call, guys. I'm in a serious pickle, and I mean the bad kind—I mean like, a really smelly brown pickle?
Don't sweat it, boi! Finn and I got your back.
Who's bullying you, Prismo?
Nobody's bullying me. Look, um... remember when you wished the Lich never existed and you created a new wish reality that ended up totally not working out?
BBoth
No. / Vaguely, yes.
What?
You don't remember making that wish?
Wha..?
I thought I explained to you that one time.
Dude, I'll catch you up. Look. [turns on TV wall to see alternate Finn and Jake playing the flute and howling, respectively] After you wished the Lich never existed, you got zapped to an alternate wish reality where magic doesn't really exist.
Wait! [pause video] Who's that dude?
That's you, but sort of less cool.
..Uh-huh. Proceed.
So, you find an old Marceline and the magic crown on the body of Ice King's skeleton, who was smushed under the weight of a frozen mutagenic bomb. But then, the Destiny Gang steal your family donkey, so you used the crown to become Ice Finn and save your donkey and your family. But... the crown makes you crazy and you ice everything up like a dumb bozo, which sets off the mutagenic bomb and releases the spirit of the Lich anyway. But then, this reality's Jake made a counter which would supposedly fix the problem, but as it turns out, it didn't really.
Can I just say that I don't remember any of this stuff?
Because, technically, it didn't happen to you. But also, it still happened and that wish reality continues to exist.
[beat] Is this why all of a sudden one day I was way better at the flute?
Oh yeah, I noticed that.
Listen! Something really bad is about to go down. [summons projection] Ice Finn is using his world's Enchiridion to build a portal to the multiverse. We literally do not know what will happen if he succeeds, but it could defs be catastrophic to the architecture of these realities. Now, if that happens, my boss—let me repeat that—my boss will hold me responsible. And by proxy, y'all both will be in the dip, too.
Why not just bloop-bloop it all better?
Something there is dampening my powers! I am losing my picks over this biz!!
[to Finn] His boss? Who's that?
Alright, man. What do we do? [Prismo summons a case to him]
Take this and use it to take care of the Ice Finn.
Oh. Wait, what do you mean by "take care of—"?
Good luck, guys! We're all depending on you!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Adventure Time pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.