Root Beer Guy quotes from Adventure Time

[typewriting in voiceover] "I knew there was trouble. I could smell it on the hot evening breeze. Fortunately for me, trouble is my favorite thing... because I'm Joe Milkshake. I kicked down the door with one swift decisive motion".. No... "With one swift and decisive motion, I kicked down the door"— No! "The door was kicked down by me swiftly, with not many motions but a whole lot of decisiveness was used by me that was apparent to everybody."

Mr. Pudding—

Oh, you can just call me Buck.

Uh, Buck, those—

No need to be formal here, son.

Th-those guys were just in here, can you tell me what they bought?

Well, let's see. A shovel, a saw, some plastic bags, some duct tape, a bludgeon, a mop, rubber gloves.

Say, Mister... Buck, do you know anything about this Lake Butterscotch?

A right nice spot, Lake Butterscotch. Miles from where anyone can hear a person scream, if a person was screaming for some reason. Creepy now that I think about it. Nothing up there these days but some abandoned caverns. Nice place to hide a body if you're into that sort of thing. [RBG runs offscreen to a truck] Son, now, what are you doin' in my pickup truck?

It's okay, baby. Starchy's here.

Oh, thank heavens. It was just another hallucination... [sees a soil-composed Root Beer Guy]

Honey, I'm barely upset that you're remarried.

But... how is this possible? You were zapped by Darren the Ancient Sleeper, your dome was cracked, your root beer soaked into the ground! I buried your remains in a mason jar which is now your head, and... an-and now I'm-I'm with Starchy. I'm mean, we're-we're legally married. You're legally dead. Not that I want to sound obsessed with legalities, but I am a lawyer.

Hey... where's that little statue I got you? It said "I wuv you" on the base of it? It was a little bear with his arms out like this? [sways a drawer across the room into a wall] He was all, "I wuv you, I wuv you, I wuv you." [topples and crashes couch over into the wall; its cracks seep up the roof and a light drops on Starchy]

No sudden moves, baby. He's got freaky-zombie strength.

[looks up] Maybe it's up here. Hup!

Did you hire a maid service or something while I was gone? I sure hope they didn't throw out the "I wuv you" bear.

Enough!! I should have put you in the ground a long time ago!

Hey. I came back for her. [stomps his foot, a series of typha seedpods pop out of the crack]

Root Beer Guy, if that is you in there, I'm so proud of you. But this isn't fair. You ended our life together when you pulled that lever. You made the choice, and you saved the Kingdom. But you lost me. [leaves him]

Heh, burn.

Cherry Cream Soda, I still wuv you—whoa! [trips over ottoman, crashes into wall; more seedpods pop out the crack. He turns back] You always wanted this wall knocked down anyways, right? [chuckles] Ooh...

Arrhh! Wahh!! You come back with no explanation, rack up the place and you expect to just pick up where we left off! Get out of my house!! [RBG crawls out of the wall and walks away]

I'm sorry.

Starchy wins!