Jake[comes down] You're up early.
Jake
You stayed up all night reading trash books? [Finn makes a weak "meh" sound] Told you, man, those dating books... [slurps cup] That stuff is mess-you-up.
I'm not reading. I'm playing with the little wees.
Jake
Ah, lemme see little me! [sees little Jake sulking] Me looks so lonely. Hey Finn, pass me little Lady!
Jake
[confused] What?
She's with someone else now.
Jake
Who?!
He's a cool guy. Don't worry about it.
[Jake then hears Lady's wahs, he gasps to see little Finn in Lady's lap smooching under a book teepee]
Jake
AAAHHHHH!!! [slams table] WHAT THE BALL, MAN?!!
Jake
"What"? What do ya think "what"?!
Come on, they're not real, they're like toys. These guys here, they’re goin' out. [points to little Marceline licking Peppermint Butler's red side] It's pretty serious. And look at Choose Goose and Lollipop Girl. They're still testing the waters. [little Choose Goose and Lollipop Girl are dancing; Lollipop Girl flies up and Abracadaniel catches her. They all embrace] But I think things are gonna work out. Check out Xergiok and Turtle P.
[little Turtle Princess spanks little Xergiok's behind, both wah-ing in delight. Finn laughs]
Weird. But cool, right, Jake? [Jake slowly backs away to the exit]
Jake
I don't like where you're going with this. It ain't wholesome. I’m gonna go to Lady's for a few days... clear my head. [leaves]
[sees Lemongrabs in dungeon] There they are! Hey, Lemongrabs, we're here! We're gonna get you out, just hold tight!
L2Lemongrab 2
No food here.
Jake
Maybe the kidnapper's in here, too, coercing them.
Probably the grossest one of all, too—beet-red skin, barf, poopin' all its junk-sculpture.
Jake
Ugh, stop it! You're just makin' it worse! Let's just get this over with. [punches doors]
Lemongrabs, you are free!
L1Lemongrab 1
They broke the door! The door is broken now!
L2Lemongrab 2
FIX THE DOOOOOR!!!!
Jake
Fix the door? What? What? Fix the door? Fix what? What's goin' on here? "Fix the door?" Finn, what's goin' on?! "Fix the door?!"
L1Lemongrab 1
It doesn't matter anymore.
L2Lemongrab 2
There is no more candy to horde. Let them keep what crumbs they find. [the lemon creatures sniff and lick the floor] For there are no crumbs.
LLemongrabs
MMMMNNOOOOOO CUUURRUUUMMBS!!!
[after Flame King appears provoking Flame Princess and vanishes under Jake's teapot]
Jake
He was saying "evil, evil, evil" over and over again.
Jake
Oh, I wasn't sure if you heard, 'cause he was whispering.
Jake
I was just trying to help!
Oh, not you, Jake, my dad. I always catch him whispering stuff into my ear while I'm not paying attention. He keeps saying I'm evil. [Finn stands up on the table]
Whoa! You best not be believing that whack bunk. I bet he's trying to make your life bad so you'll think you're evil. But you're really not!
Let's have a good time in a dungeon or something. That always clears my head and reminds me of what's what.
And... that'll make me good?
No, that'll show you not to worry so much, 'cause you're already good... in here. [taps his chest looking for his heart]
Okay... yeah! Let's do it!
[the mysterious man starts pouring water into Finn's mouth; he wakes up and coughs]
MMan
This is the rookery, where I and my bird friends dwell!
So are you like the Great Bird Man?
MMan
That's what they call me nowadays. But when I first met you Finn, and you Jake, you knew me as [suddenly, his voice rises in pitch] Xergiok, the Goblin King!!
When we first met, I was crazy for smacking goblin hams. I was cruel, selfish, brutal. But every thing changed after I was defeated by the two of you!
Jake
So, you got some sleek new shades and now everything's different?
Oh, no, my change has been deep. And these whatsits are only curtains for empty windows.
[he lifts his shades and puts them back repeatedly, revealing black, empty eye sockets]
Whoa! What happened in there?
I miffed off a wizard and he took my eyes. [pan down to see his eyes attached to his beard] I wonder what he wanted them for. Some kind of lotion, or potion... or time-traveling spell? I'll never know! Never, ever. Never. But losing my eyesight was only the beginning of my wonderful change! I started meditating and doing yoga. Now I can "see" with my heart and smell with my soul.
Jake
You smell with your beard?
Jake
Lame.
[Finn and Jake tiptoe into another cave; Finn trips over a rock with Jake next to a bird sleeping in its nest]
[Finn crashes into the bird's behind; it cries, starts flying upward and hits its head on the point of a stalactite, falls down to the ground]
[the stalactite breaks off from the ceiling and falls onto the bird's legs; it screams]
Psychic links! Cardamom, my friend, I'm coming! I'm com— [he goes tumbling down the hill] Mother of Gob!! Hold on, Cardy! [Finn and Jake hide in the shadows] Okay, here I am, buddy. Ol' Xergy's here. [lifts the stalactite off its legs; he feels the injured leg] Let's see now— aw, dang! [inhales] Wo-o-o-o-o-ong! Wo-o-o-o-o-ong! Wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wong! [the injured bird's leg is now a green humanlike leg]
Jake
Shush, Chile!
Ah, Finn and Jake, you are here!
Where'd you learn that heal spell?
I use no magic. I manipulated space with a vibrational chant. You see, now the injury has transferred to me! [he lifts his leg, which is now Cardamom's broken leg] Ooh, yeah! That hurts, baby! Whoooo!! Can't you see, Jake? I love these birds more than I love myself. What am I to the deafening roar of the macrocosmos? Nothing much. Just a vessel to carry the message of friendship to y'all beasts and dirt.
Yeah, look! [picks up two handfuls of dirt] Hello, friends! Go for a ride!
Marceline, why'd you invite Ancient Chubs to play basketball?
Jake
Yeah!
Hahh... [beat] Well, he's very dear to my heart. I love him.
Jake
..What you are talking about, Marceline?
We've been around for a long time. We've had a long history together, it's.. it's a long story.
Jake
Yeah! Lay it out, Marcy!
Yeah, lay down, Marceline! Go to sleep. Right, what're we talkin' about?
Jake
I mean, here you are chillin' with history's coolest friends building an actual pillow fort, but you just sit there sulkin'. I'm like, what gives?
[sigh] I guess I'm just thinking about Flame Princess. I told her a joke the other day, and she didn't even laugh or anything. Guess it's over between us.
Jake
That's it? A joke?
Maybe she just didn't get it yet.
Yeah right, Beemo. More like she used up all her laughs on some other guy's jokes, probably. Man, having a girlfriend is hard.
Jake
No! Being crazy is hard. You're getting all hung up, [stretches his arm around his face] all hung up on imaginary problems. [opens arm as a miniature Jake in his head] You gotta focus on what's real, man. [grabs a cup] You see this cup? This is literally my favorite cup. [throws cup out the window] Now it's gone forever, so it's not real, and I don't care about it anymore.
[gasps] Oh no! My favorite window!
I don't even know what you guys are talking about. [picks up sword and cup] I think I just need some alone time. Gotta let my mind fester a bit, you know? [enters pillow fort] I'll be back in a little while.
Jake
Finn, festering's always bad, man! There's no good kind of festering!! FIIINN!!!
That was Flame Princess. She said she didn't get my joke until now—and that it's really funny and awesome.
Jake
Yeah, that's great, man. Now what about this dream?
Jake
The dream you were just talking about?
Jake
Just a second ago?
Jake
The DREAM you just had in the pillow fort?
BBubble
Um, hey... so, BMO, since we have a little time, there is something I've been wanting to say.
BBubble
I know I might never find my real home.
[gasps] No, Bubble! That's not true!
BBubble
It is. I know it is. But it's... it's okay. Because I realized something. All this time we've been together, BMO, I haven't felt lost. I felt at home. [hear Jake yelling and crashing inside] And it's you, BMO, I feel at home with. [BMO gasps] So, I thought... I mean, if you feel the same way, I thought we could... get married. I-I mean... I'm not even sure what that means exactly, but—
BBubble
Oh! Wohohoho... whoo!
Jake
Hey, a bubble! [pops Bubble] Pop! [BMO gasps in shock; Jake giggles]
Bubble? Bubble?! [wails, plucks up grass; Finn comes over] No! No, no, no! My Bubble! No!! [falls on the grass]
Jake
Oh, it's just BMO. He's pretending to be all messed up 'cause his bubble got popped. [chuckles as BMO starts grieving on the grass]
Ohhh. [chuckles] That is pretty funny.
Oh, Bubble, I'm so sorry I brought you here! [sobbing]
BSBubble's Voice
[heard disembodiedly] "There, there, BMO. It's okay."
Bubble? Is that you? I hear you in my head, but I don't see you! [both Finn and Jake start snickering] Oh no, have I gone bananas?
BSBubble's Voice
"No, BMO, it's okay. You see, I'm finally free."
I don't understand, Bubble.
BSBubble's Voice
"No, not Bubble. Air. BMO, I'm Air! I've been trapped in that bubble for so long, I'd forgotten who I am. But now I'm finally home."
Yay! Oh, b-but wait! Now you don't need me... to feel... at home.
AAir
"No. See, that's what's so great. Now we can be together forever, BMO—every minute of every day. No more privacy, no more quiet, no more alone. Every room you ever go in, I'll already be there... waiting... forever and ever... until the end of time."
Adventure Time · 447 quotes
