FinnHey, witch! Does it have to be princess hair?
TWTree Witch
No, just beautiful hair.
Finn
Well then, check THIS OUT!!
[Finn pull off his white hat and shown his long blonde hair]
Finn
HAHAAAH!!!
TWTree Witch
AHH!! You'd really give me your hair?
Finn
Sure!
[later]
TWTree Witch
[now with Finn's hair] So... how do I look?
Finn
Totally beautiful, inside and out.
TWTree Witch
Thank you, Finn. And now to use my hair for evil.
Finn
WHAT!!!?
TWTree Witch
Cos I'm evil! [cackling] What did ya want from me!? [trips, CRUNCH!!] Oh no, I think I fractured a branch....
Finn
It's the Ice King alright, and he's looking awful pleased with himself.
Uh-oh! If the Ice King's so happy, he must've stolen a princess when we weren't looking somehow! [ear-covers his mouth] That's ninja logic!
Finn
Then we gotta --
FFlambo
A-hem. [Finn flips a charcoal briquette into his mouth]
Finn
Hmph. We gotta save that princess! [jumps onto tor]
You got it, shino-bro! Ninja kick!
Finn
Ninja kick!
Finn
It's a brave little gnome knight!
What? That's a frog dressed up like a gnome knight!
GKGnome Knight
Actually, I'm a gnome knight who was magically transformed into a frog, and then I decided to continue being a knight.
And now you're, like, attracting a mate?
GKGnome Knight
NO!! I'm on the verge of death!!
OGOld Goblin
Oh no! The old king — just as cruel as the last king!
Finn
Hi oh.. what? [guards enter and kneel]
GGGoblin Guard
O King, we beg you not to slay the old lady. [Finn turns back and they cower]
Finn
No, wait!
OGOld Goblin
Don't slay me! You may keep the hot buns, Your Majesty!
BGBlue Goblin
I'm ready for my spanking, Mr. Xerigok Part Two.
AGAll Goblins
WE'RE READY FOR OUR SPANKING, SIRE!!
Finn
Everything small is just a small version of something big! I understand everything!!
Finn
Oh, Jake... I'm better than okay! I know exactly how to impress the Princess.
Finn
No, no. Those spit bubbles were as fragile as my old perception of reality. But wait. Maybe you're onto something. I could show the Princess bubbles the likes of which no one has ever seen!!
And how will you do that?
Finn
I'll start with a solid bulleted list!
Finn
Ladies and gentlemen—and Princess... I'm here to talk about multidimensional bubbles! But I am not just going to talk about blowing bubbles — I'm going to blow... your... minds.
Finn
This is a bubble blower of my own design. With this, you can blow bubbles in different dimensions.
[he sets the device to two and blows out a flat, depthless bubble]
Finn
This two-dimensional bubble casts a one-dimensional shadow.
[he sets the device from two to three and blows out a normal bubble]
Finn
A three-dimensional bubble casts a two-dimensional shadow.
[he sets the device from three to four, blows out what appears to be a projection of a four-dimensional tesseract]
Finn
A fourth-dimensional bubble casts a three-dimensional shadow. It is beyond comprehension! Beyond space! Beyond time!
Finn, that would mean you've created—
Finn
Yes—A BLACK HOLE!!! [everything starts to getting sucked into the hole]
WHOOAAHH!! [grabs a pole and stretches himself to another pole, holding the screaming crowd]
Finn
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah!! [Jake grabs him and pulls him into the group with Bubblegum] Whoa!
Finn
It's okay. I'm sure the solution is on my bulleted... LIST!! [the list gets sucked into the hole] Don't worry. I have EVERYTHING under control.
UNDER CONTROL?! My guests are terrified!
Finn
YES!! And their brains are releasing adrenaline, dopamine, even dimethyltryptamine from the pineal gland!! This has serious educational value! Thanatophobia and this NDE is giving us euphoric altered awareness! Don't you see, Princess?! We were all BORN TO DIE!!
YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL US ALL?!?
Finn
No, of course not! I'm trying to give you the GREATEST CONFERENCE EVER!!!
Finn... you've gone insane!
Finn
What?! No way, I'm like the smartest guy in Ooo, thanks to these glasses.
Glasses? Finn... take those off. You're not yourself!
Finn
But—
[cries] Please!! I need the real you!
[after losing to Sleepy Sam again in "Guardians of Sunshine" game]
Finn
Argh!! Every time!! BMO, this game is the worst! If we were really inside that game, man, we would crush Sleepy Sam, breezily — with my mitts.
Oh, no! It's much more dangerous than you think.
Finn
Whoa, whoa, wait!
Beemo, is there a way for us to get in the game for real?
Yes, of course, Jake. [opens compartment with a red button] If I push this button—
[Jake presses BMO's button repeatedly to no avail. BMO moves Jake's hand aside]
If I push this button, you will both be dangerously transported into my main-brain-game-frame, where it is very dangerous.
Finn
Oh, man! Oh, BMO! You gotta let us in that game!
No! It's a far-too-dangerous incredible adventure for you. That's final.
Finn
[beat] Oh... okay, BMO. Welp, time for bed!
Finn
Time for bed. [elbows him] Right, Jake?
Oh, right! Heh-heh. G'night, BMO. [BMO looks at them suspiciously] Time for bed.
[Scene changes into later that night, showing Finn and Jake sneaking back into the main room of their treehouse. Jake slips the blanket off of a sleeping BMO and opens the compartment where the button to transport Finn and Jake is. Finn graps a feather out of his mouth and hands it to Jake. Jake then tickles the button to try to get BMO to slam it. BMO grunts a few times and then slams the red button down, which releases electricity from BMO, transporting Finn and Jake (who are screaming in surprise and fear) into Guardians of Sunshine. The art style changes into a 3D polygonal look and Finn and Jake are transformed into pixel versions of themselves]
Finn
We're in the game!
Look! There's the sunshine we gotta protect! [points to the sun in the video game] And there's a hole we're supposed to go down! [points to a cave] And there's you...doing whatever you're doing. [points to Finn]
Finn
I'm looking at my bits! My leg is math!
Mmm. That sunshine feels good. Feels good all over!
Finn
No wonder all the monsters in this game want to get their grubby mitts on it! Let's go kick their digital bootays!
[sniffs] Hey, what stinks? Smells like...
Finn
Pit!!
[camera pans out to show a stretching virtual lava pit]
Finn
Looks a mite bigger inside the game.
Jumping over this pit is easy, remember? We can do this backwards with our eyes closed. [leaps backwards into the pit] AHH!! I'M BURNING!!
Finn
JAAAAAAAAKE!!!! [a starting jingle is heard]
Finn
Wha?! Jake, what the shank?!
Check it out — extra lives.
Finn
You still have two left! [Jake falls laughing into the pit again]
AHH-HA!! OW!! IT BURNS!! OW!! AHH-HA!!
[Jake's life icons are reduced to one]
Finn
Jake!!
[reappears] Doo do-do-doo!
Finn
Dude, what if losing all your lives in here makes you die in real life? Or worse?!
That makes me just want to sit here and feel bad.
Finn
No way, man! We're gonna cross that hole with real-world grit! Come on!
Finn
Fire pit, Bouncy Bee, Hunny Bunny - they're supposed to be the easy parts. They're all hard as butts! Sleepy Sam is gonna be the ultimate butt-kicker.
Look, Finn. The most important thing to remember is that I still have one giant coin.
Finn
Man, get ahold of your brains. We need to stay alert for Sleepy Sam.
(points ahead) Hey, that's him right there.
(Sleepy Sam is seen sitting away from Finn and Jake with its back turned.)
Finn
Get down!
(The two sit in prone position to stay out of sight.)
Finn
What's he doing? He's probably trying to psych me out.
(Finn gazes at his trusty mitts before emboldening himself and crawling toward Sleepy Sam.)
Finn
I'm gonna break you, Sam. When I'm done, they'll call you...Stinky Sam... stupid frog.
(Sleepy Sam continues to sit idly by. Finn gets to his feet and raises his hand, preparing to punch him. However, once he gets close, Sam unleashes a screeching shriek! Finn yells as he is blown back.)
Finn
M-m-m-my mitts didn't w-work.... (huffs) Come on, help me punch him!
(Jake pushes Finn toward the still-shrieking Sam, but as he gets close, he is subsequently eaten - and pooped out - losing his second life. Finn respawns, and Sam shrieks again, blowing Jake into Finn's arms.)
Let's get out of here, man! WE'RE GONNA DIE!!
Finn
Time to lay down, beautiful buddy.
Yeah. Time to make sleepies! [focus on the dead charred Princess Plant]
Finn
Ahh. ..We killed it, man!
Finn
Okay... all we gotta do is go to the Land of the Dead and reclaim the flower's soul from Death before Bubblegum returns.
[enters] Excuse me, but did you all say "Land of the Dead"?
Finn
[Jake hides plant under pillow] Oh, what?! Oh— uh... yeah.
Finn
Really?
Certainly, Finn. For a small price, which we can discuss later. Take my hands, gentlemen. [Finn and Jake each hold Peppermint Butler's hands facing a corner between two walls] Stare into where the two walls meet. Now slowly... cross your eyes. Do it, fools!
[Finn and Jake cross their eyes and the corner divides into two, creating a portal in between]
The portal opens! Say hi to Death for me if you see him. He lives in a castle made of light.
Finn
Thanks, Peppermint Butler.
And don't drink the— [portal closes] water...
Finn
I don't see anyone. I guess you double-killed them with that avalanche.
Finn
Now we just gotta cross that river.
River! [descending steps] Man, I'm so thirsty! My mouth's still all dusty!
SSkull
[seen beside steps] Yes...
Finn
WAHH!!
Finn
Whoa... okay, Jake—don't drink the water.
Finn
Dude! That skull wants you to drink the water! It's bad water!
SSkull
Don't drink the water.
See? That's means good, right? Yup! [cannonballs into river]
Finn
Jake? [Jake emerges out and stares at Finn] Jake, why are you making stupid face?
Finn
Dang it, I knew that water was junk!
SSkull
Tricked again by the river of forgetfulness!! [crushed by Finn's left foot]
Finn
Jake!! Get out of that water right now!!
Hey! I don't know who you are, mister, but I don't like your attitude. [Finn pauses for a beat; cut to him dragging Jake] Help! Somebody!
Adventure Time · 447 quotes
