E
In 4 of the 355 quotes from You Can't Do That on Television
Scenes with Eugene 4
[Eugene enters the kitchen as Valerie is making pancakes.]
EEugene
Mom, guess what followed me home from school today.
Oh, Eugene, I don't care, we're not keeping it. Toss it off the back porch.
[He leaves as Valerie flips a pancake into the air, but doesn't come down. Suddenly, there is a scream and a clattering noise.]
What was that?! [Eugene re-enters.]
EEugene
It was Mrs. Owbokowski, my English teacher.
[Valerie quickly runs off. Eugene grabs the frying pan and catches the pancake.]
Eugene, what do you wanna be when you grow up?
EEugene
I wanna be a vet and take care of sick dogs.
Well, here's your chance to practice. Here comes Christine!
[Christine slugs Lisa in the nose and she falls down.]
Oh Eugene, look! They put up the name of the foster child the school adopted.
EEugene
Oh yeah, he's from the Philippines.
Yeah. Do they ever have weird names there. Look at this... "AI DO KNO".
EEugene
Don't you know anything about the Philippines? The A is silent, The O is pronounced O and the K is silent. His name is "I don't know".
[Eugene is slimed]
You're new on this show, aren't you Eugene?
[Vanessa and Eugene are on the school bus and are wearing TV wristwatches.]
These new wristwatch televisions are great. I don't miss the soaps anymore.
EEugene
And I don't miss the football games anymore.
[Snakeeyes is also wearing one and watching it but he is not watching the road.]
SSnakeeyes
And I don't miss... [looks ahead] ...THE TREES ANYMORE!! [they crash into a tree.]
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You Can't Do That on Television · 355 quotes