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S5 E11

You Can't Do That on Television · Season 5, Episode 11

“Technology” quotes from You Can't Do That on Television

4 quotes

“Technology” · Season 5, Episode 11

In this episode: Christine (2), Lisa (2), Vanessa (1), Eugene (1)

Okay, all of you who want to hear nothing but silence coming from Lisa Ruddy...

Oh please, oh please, I know I must have a fan out there somewhere, if you write me I'll say your name, oh please, oh...

...Please touch the green square now!

Oh please, oh please, oh...

[The audience "votes" for Lisa to lose her voice. Lisa immediately shuts up.]

Aww, too bad Lisa, I guess all your fans were out to lunch today!

[Lisa holds up a sign that says, "I'LL GET YOU MOOSE!"]

[Lisa is still unable to talk and can only communicate through writing notes; reading Lisa's note] "My link is the introduction to the commercials, and if we don't have any commercials, we don't get paid." ... Oh, I get it! It's time to test the audience voting device again! Okay now, everybody who wants to see Lisa get her voice back and watch some commercials so I can get paid, go ahead and touch the green square on the bottom of your screen. Touch now!

[The vote fails. Lisa writes Christine another note.]

[Reading note] "Try something more imaginative." ... Oh, I know! Eugene, come here, sit down.

[Eugene Contreras walks over and sits down]

Now, all of you who want to see something really horrible happen to Eugene here, and see Lisa get her voice back and watch some commercials so I can get paid, touch the green square on the bottom of your screen.

[The vote fails again.]

Okay, I've got it this time. Now, all of you who want to see something really horrible happen to Eugene, and see Lisa get her voice back and watch some commercials so I can get paid, and see Vanessa... where's Vanessa?

[Vanessa Lindores walks over and sits down]

And see Vanessa here get hit with water, just touch the...

[Christine is drenched.]

...green square on your screen!

[This time the vote passes. Vanessa is hit with water, and Lisa laughs out loud.]

Wait a minute! What about the something really horrible that was supposed to happen to Eugene?!

[Eugene gets a pie in the face.]

And now it's time for the commercials!

[Vanessa and Eugene are on the school bus and are wearing TV wristwatches.]

These new wristwatch televisions are great. I don't miss the soaps anymore.

And I don't miss the football games anymore.

[Snakeeyes is also wearing one and watching it but he is not watching the road.]

SSnakeeyes

And I don't miss... [looks ahead] ...THE TREES ANYMORE!! [they crash into a tree.]

AAnnouncer

"The Electric Company Blows A Fuse" will not be seen at this time in order that we may bring you the following low energy show.

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