LFLorraine Finster
You married my father. I slept with your husband. That makes us family.
S9 E6Rosario's Quinceanera
S9 E7A Gay Olde Christmas
I am done with Christmas! Who feels like celebrating anyway, with all the crap going on nowadays?
I don't understand you, Will. This is the one time a year when fat people are supposed to be jolly.
It's not going to snow. There's no such thing as miracles. Christmas is for spoiled rich kids. And Santa is just another old white perv we once trusted.
Oh, my God, where have you been? I've been looking all over for you.
I was downstairs wringing the Christmas goose.
Don't you think you should do that in private?
S9 E8Friends and Lover
Don't mind me, I just need to get a few things. I'm entertaining a gaggle of gays across the hall.
I believe the correct term is "a giggle of gays".
Ah, she stands corrected. Grace, where's your shame pizza?
I do not have...
Grace...
Vegetable drawer.
[examining the pizza] This is a pepperoni pizza, but there's no pepperoni, just crop circles of cheese...
IT CAME THAT WAY!
[Will and Grace find out they're sleeping with the same man]
Well, this is a first.
Yeah.
We did say we wanted to do crazy things. To feel young.
Well, sexuality is fluid now. It's what young people do.
You know what young people don't do? Say "That's what young people do".
S9 E9There's Something About Larry
I'm being nice. Pretending to care about something when you want to kill yourself is what a human being does.
Thanks for lending me your car, Karen. It's so fancy! What kind is it?
A black one. Oops, I mean an "African-AmeriCar". Better watch out for the PC police. Now, take me to Jew-dorf Goodman, you big, mincing butt pirate!
S9 E10The Wedding
I need closure, Grace. I need to find out why he broke up with me.
You don't.
It's two minutes of his time. What could go wrong in two minutes?
Ask every girl who ever got pregnant at her prom.
Did you just steal a badge from a cop?
Did you just eat an entire tray of sliders?
I'll keep your secret if you keep mine.
S9 E11Staten Island Fairy
Will! I just got amazing news!
Grace got an STD!
I did not say "STD", I said "QVC".
Well, they're both ways to get something cheap that looks awful.
DDrew
If I'm gay, isn't coming out of the closet a good thing?
It was once. But you know how people thought eggs were good for you, but then we discovered they weren't?
DDrew
But eggs are good for you.
Tell that to the chicken who just lost a child.
S9 E12The Three Wise Men
Mother always said the best way to get over one guy is to get under, behind and sideways with another one.
All right, I am off to the tennis club. I know what you're thinking - didn't I already work out this morning? Yes, but if I burn off a few more calories after work, I can hit the pressed juicery. I know, those things are pure sugar, but what can I say, I love 'em.
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait - oh, my God, I didn't know this was going to be a story about juice! You know what, back it up, start at the beginning, and really drag it out this time, okay?
S9 E13Sweatshop Annie & The Annoying Baby Shower
[on the phone] One pound of proscuitto, one pound of mortadella, five kinds of cheese, from mild to stinky, big vat of coleslaw... [to Jack] Almost done.
Are you ordering a deli platter?
Having phone sex with Stan.
This is all your fault!
How is this my fault?
Because you made me write down my feelings like a WASP instead of eating them like a Jew!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Will & Grace pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.