Will and Jack in “A Gay Olde Christmas”

Will

I am done with Christmas! Who feels like celebrating anyway, with all the crap going on nowadays?

Jack

I don't understand you, Will. This is the one time a year when fat people are supposed to be jolly.

Will

It's not going to snow. There's no such thing as miracles. Christmas is for spoiled rich kids. And Santa is just another old white perv we once trusted.