Maggie quotes from Weeds

Maggie

Have you all seen these? They are all over the school. And as a Christian, I must say, I am deeply, deeply offended. It's profane.

Has anyone talked to the principal about this?

Pam

Who's Chris?

Oh, we do not joke about our Lord Jesus Christ.

Nancy

(Laughs) It's a stupid t-shirt. We should ignore it.

Maggie

Only one man died for my sins, Nancy. And his name wasn't Chris.

Pam

Well, it sort of was, wasn't it? Like a nickname?

Maggie

Look who's here everyone! It's Celia.

Celia

Down, Maggie. I have cancer. I'm not retarded.

Maggie

Celia, you can't smoke in here.

Celia

Because...?

Second hand smoke kills.

Maggie

Celia, did you bring your muffins?

Celia

I didn't feel like baking.

Maggie

None of us ever feels like baking.

Pam

I love baking.

Maggie

Except Pam. But, we do it anyway, for the sake of our children.

Celia

Oh, give me a break. You're raising money for a swim team. How much do swimming trunks cost anyway?

Pam

18.95.

Celia

I'll tell you what, (hands Pam a 20) keep the change.

Maggie

So, we're really not getting the muffins, are we?

Celia

(Gets up to leave) I have in my hands the last pharmaceutical Quaalude on earth. See ya ladies.