Know this, Lupita: until you love me, I've got enough love for the both of us.
“Fashion of the Christ” · Season 1, Episode 4
In this episode: Nancy Botwin (7), Andy Botwin (5), Maggie (2), Pam (2), Doug Wilson (1), Silas Botwin (1), Heylia (1)
If there's one thing I learned about the Christ crowd, absolutely no sense of humor. Should've gone after the Jew market, least we can take a joke
Oou, listen to Betty Cracker.
If you make something mediocre enough, you might even have a go at it.
Have you all seen these? They are all over the school. And as a Christian, I must say, I am deeply, deeply offended. It's profane.
PMPTA Mom 1
Has anyone talked to the principal about this?
Who's Chris?
PMPTA Mom 1
Oh, we do not joke about our Lord Jesus Christ.
(Laughs) It's a stupid t-shirt. We should ignore it.
Only one man died for my sins, Nancy. And his name wasn't Chris.
Well, it sort of was, wasn't it? Like a nickname?
They wanted to suspend him.
For what? If Shane wants to believe in Chris, and they try to suspend him for it, Whoa! That's freedom of religion, that's like the first commandment; we could nail ‘em on that.
I don't think Chris is protected under "Freedom of Religion," Andy. In fact, the Angry Christian Moms I heard from in the PTA were pretty offended by it.
Well that's so intolerant. I mean, what would Jesus do?
Not to mention the amount of shit I'm going to get from those Hypochristian bitch moms I'm going to get tomorrow.
You're the Candyman?
TThe "Candyman"
Yes, you getting any exercise?
Excuse me?
TThe "Candyman"
If you're not committed to personal fitness, I can't in good conscience sell to you.
I wouldn't say Heylia's in the best shape.
TThe "Candyman"
Heylia's a lazy fat-fat and I'm hoping to put her into a diabetic coma. So I have no problem selling to her.
Why?
TThe "Candyman"
Scare her. Some people never learn until their life is on the line.
TThe "Candyman"
You know what you are?
What?
TThe "Candyman"
Skinny-fat. And what are we gonna do about that?
We're gonna start exercising right away.
TThe "Candyman"
Don't humor me. I'm very serious. I used to weigh 314 pounds.
Wow. Congratulations.
TThe "Candyman"
The key, exercise.
You know, I'm not buying for personal use.
TThe "Candyman"
Are your customers just a bunch of Fatty McFat-Fats?
Well they're smokers. But it stands to reason that if they eat rather than smoke, they can breathe easier should they decide to exercise.
TThe "Candyman"
That's a reasonable assumption.
I need to talk to you, you fucking perv.
Hey pants
Please tell me I didn't hear that you had cyber sex with a 15 year old deaf girl.
The way I see it is you're in way over your head here. You got a house, you got bills, you're a mommy. Dealing is a full time job. You need some help, Nancy Pants.
Don't call me pants. Judah called me pants, not you.
Hey, I miss him too, Nancy. Whatever you think about me, Judah was my brother. And I loved him. And I have your back.
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