Sikowitz quotes from Victorious

Sikowitz

Hello, girls! Can you believe I scored tickets to Hall and Oates?

Sikowitz

Trina is in. Trina is in. Trina is in. Trina is in.

Jade

I went to the pet store and got us a dog.

Tori

That’s right I’m the family dog uh woof.

Jade

Sikowitz’s would you please tell Tori that dogs walk on 4 legs, not 2 and don’t talk.

Sikowitz

Tori, if you're going to play a dog you have to act like one.

Jade

Uh-oh looks like this dog has bugs in her fur.

Tori

Uh woof.

Ew!

Jade

Aw it's okay. I read on the Internet that coffee works great for getting rid of fur bugs.

Beck

Maybe you shouldn't, uh....

Andre

Jade.

Jade

What's the prob, dog?

Sikowitz

Okay, first I'd like to introduce our new student, Tori, and I'd like to thank Tori for her generous gift of two dollars, which she handed me outside this morning. Not necessary, but much appreciated.

André

Why'd you give him two dollars?

Tori

I thought he was homeless.

Sikowitz

Jade, kiss your boyfriend on your own time.

Jade

Oh, I will...

Sikowitz

Tori, you're back. You ever thought about coming in through the window?

Tori

No.

Sikowitz

Think about it.

Tori

What did you do to my pants?

Sikowitz

Good. Now, terrified.

Tori

What did you do to my pants?

Sikowitz

Falling off a cliff.

Tori

What did you do to my PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANTS?!

Sikowitz

Excellent. Now, as you can see, the same dialogue can evoke an infinite number of emotions, depending upon how the actor chooses to play it. Like a robot.

Tori

(imitating a robot) What... did you do... to my pants...?

Sikowitz

Wrong! Robots don't wear pants... it was a trick.

Sikowitz

What the hairballs?! (unplugs the water fountain)

(in anger) You got cheese in our hair!

Cat

Tori!

Why did you do that?!

Tori

I don't- I don't know! I was just- (runs off with the sausage still in her hand; Cat starts crying and runs off with Daniel)

Sikowitz

You see? This is what happens when you mix teenagers and hot cheese. (to Lane) I warned you.

Sikowitz

Tori...

Tori

I swear, I thought I had it on vibrate...

Sikowitz

Class is no place for swearing or vibrating!

Cat

Thanks a lot, Tori.

Tori

Oh, I wish I could go to Karaoke Dokie!

Beck

Why can't you?

Jade

Who cares why she can't?

Beck

I was just wondering why she-

Jade

What, you need Tori around to have a good time, is that your point?

Beck

Dude!

Jade

WHAT?

Sikowitz

JADE! (turns to her) You're lucky to HAVE Beck. Don't be such a GANK! (Tori smirks)

Cat

So, why can't you come?

Tori

Oh, Trina's getting her dumb wisdom teeth out today and guess who gets to spend the entire weekend taking care of her?

Cat

Okay, um...is it someone famous?

Tori

No! ME!

Andre

Why can't your parents take care of her?

Tori

'Cause they're gonna be in Santa Barbara.

Andre

What for?

Tori

So they don't have to take care of Trina!

Beck

Can't blame 'em.

Jade

Shucks to be you.

Tori

(to Jade) Gank.

Tori

[pretending to eat] How's your eggplant?

Beck

[pretending to eat also] It's fine. How's your spaghetti?

Tori

[stops eating and gets mad] I hate you!

Beck

Why?

Tori

I'm not having spaghetti! I'm having spaghettini!

Beck

What's the difference?

Beck

I forgot.

Tori

I mean, why did we even take a pasta class together?

Sikowitz

And...done!

Beck

We're done?

Tori

But we still have a few more lines.

Sikowitz

No, I meant this is done. (holds up jar)

Andre

What is that?

Sikowitz

Well, it was a jar of cream, but now that I've shaken it vigorously for an hour, it's butter.

Jade

You make your own butter?

Sikowitz

Indeed.

Robbie

Is it good?

Sikowitz

I don't know, I refuse to eat dairy. Tori, Beck, take your seats!

Beck

(to Tori) If he doesn't eat dairy, why would he -

Tori

(holds up hands) I don't know. I don't care.

Sikowitz

Alright, for the last few minutes of class, let's talk about the one act play I'm directing.

Andre

Well?

Sikowitz

Well, what?

Andre

You wanna talk about the one act play you're directing?

Sikowitz

(in a "you talked me into it" tone) All right...First of all, I want to thank you all for auditioning. The two lead roles will be played by...(everyone leans forward, Cat gasps) Andre and Robbie!

Andre

Cool!

Robbie

Hot beef!

Aw, would anyone else like to be my guardian?

Cat

Did any of the rest of us get parts?

Sikowitz

Aw, is a certain little redhead hoping she got a role in teacher's play?

Cat

(giggles) She is!

Sikowitz

Well, she didn't. But, I do need some help with the backstage crew. Jade, Cat, I want you girls on lighting.

Jade

Lighting?

Sikowitz

Yes, you pronounced it perfectly. Tori, I want you to work with Sinjin's team on special effects.

Tori

Okay, but I know like nothing about special effects.

Sinjin

We'll teach you. (they leer at Tori)

Tori

(somewhat disgusted)...Lookin' forward to it.

Sikowitz

Alright everyone, we have 20 minutes before our play begins! WHERE is my coconut milk? (drinks it)

Beck

...You're drinking it!

Sikowitz

So am I.

Jade

I'll give you this dollar to get to the point.

Sikowitz

I couldn't possibly take your money... (takes the dollar from Jade's hands)

Sikowitz

How would you teenagers like to do something for money?

Tori

[after a pause] Can we have some details first?

Cat

I love the Waggafuffels! [sings] Wagga Wagga Wagga Waggafuffels left and right, Wagga Wagga Waggafuffels day and night! Wagga Wagga Wagga-

Shut up!

Cat

[hurt] Rex told me to shut up!

Sikowitz

Yes, thank you, Rex.