André quotes from Victorious

André

[on the ground] Okay...it's official. I have achieved maximum hot-itude.

André

This school's not normal.

Tori

Really?

André

You're not normal either. I've seen what you can do on stage. You're special. You're fantastic. You belong at this school. [starts to walk off, then looks at her again] Normal's boring. [Cat shows up]

Cat

It's true!

Tori

That normal's boring?

Cat

No, that no one asked me to the prom.

Sikowitz

Okay, first I'd like to introduce our new student, Tori, and I'd like to thank Tori for her generous gift of two dollars, which she handed me outside this morning. Not necessary, but much appreciated.

André

Why'd you give him two dollars?

Tori

I thought he was homeless.

André

Hey, whatcha doin?

Tori

Calling my mom to tell her I want to go back to my old school.

André

Why?

Tori

Cause I don't like having black coffee in my hair!

André

Then I'll get you some cream and sugar. Everything'll be chill.

Cat

So let's hear your horn!

André

Yeah, play that funky music, white girl!

Tori

You know I'm half Latina.

André

Then hit it, muchacha!

Tori

Oh, how about she's the whole reason why I got into Hollywood Arts?

André

Now you're digging.

Tori

Yay, I'm diggy.

André

You're gonna have to get her another present.

Tori

I know that.

André

Got a cheese guy...

Tori

I'm NOT giving her cheese. Maybe I should just give up and accept the fact that I'm not gonna find anything good and Trina's gonna hate me for the next six months.

André

I can't believe you hit me in the head.

Trina

Can I have a coffee too?

No.

[to Trina] It's not good. [to himself] So good.

Tori

That is cool.

André

Now let's work on lyrics.

Tori

Noooo, I don't wanna write lyrics. Play more stuff on your thingy.

Cat

Hey, Andre.

André

Whassup, little red?

Cat

What's THAT supposed to mean?!

André

Uh, I dunno. Little red. You're little and you got red hair.

Cat

Oh, that's so creative! Do Tori now.

Cat

...Don't you guys wanna know what that is?

Jade

Is it a transporter from the future that can beam you to another table, because if it is, what button do I push?

Cat

That's so hurtful! [sits down next to Tori]

Tori

You know, you don't always have to be mean to everyone.

Cat

See? Tori's interested in my device!

Tori

I'm really not...

André

[puts his hand on Cat's shoulder] Aw, c'mon, little red, tell us about your doohicky.

Cat

Okay. It's called...the Snowbee! Watch. [presses a button, causing fake snow to fly all over the gang and their food] Wheee! [puts her hands up. Jade presses a button to shut it off] It makes pretend snow!

André

I see that.

Beck

It's all over my tostada.

Tori

And my pizza.

Cat

Well, don't eat it!

Jade

Why?

Cat

Because, it says the fake snow is toxic and can cause abdominal bleeding.

Robbie

Do you guys think that my blog on TheSlap is boring?

Beck

Hey, look, it's that guy over there!

Cat

It IS that guy!

André

Wait up, guy! [everyone walks out from the table except Tori and Robbie]

Jade

There is no guy.

Cat

Is it true that sweat and pee are, like, "cousins"?

André

...What now?

Robbie

It's up to 106 in The Valley.

Tori

Hey...hey, Sinjin. He's face down in the kiddie pool.

Jade

...Yep.

André

(checks his phone) It's cool; he's still got two minutes left. (Tori and Robbie hurry over to the kiddie pool)

Tori

(turns Sinjinn over) Are you okay? (he gargles)

Robbie

Maybe you should give him mouth to mouth? (Sinjin gargles again)

Tori

...Nah, he's alright. (she flees)

André

What's shakin', bacon?

Tori

Oh, they don't have bacon.

Just burritos.