Rex quotes from Victorious

[after Tori kisses him] Take me home.

Cat

You guys, Sikowitz really wants everybody back in class.

And you really wanted a date to the prom last year, but you didn't get one, did you?

Cat

What's that supposed to mean?!?!

Robbie

Rex!!!

Cat

Tell your puppet to quit being mean to me!

Cat

Hey, Tori!

Tori

Yeah, hey, hi.

Cat

Whatcha doin'?

Tori

Things.

(to Tori) Hey, waddup, girl? You got a numb tongue?

Robbie

(to Rex) Alright, that's a time out, mister.

No, no time out. Don't you put me in this backpack. I'm serious, Rob.

Andre

(enters) Hey, what goes on?

Robbie

We're going to get some iced coffee.

Andre

(to Robbie) I thought caffeine makes you vibrate.

Robbie

Sometimes it's nice.

Jade

You people give me a rash.

(calling out) ... What kind of rash?

Tori

Oh, and uh, don't eat the snow unless you wanna bleed internally. [pats him on the back]

Robbie

Okay... [she walks off] She's so cute...

Girl like that wants a man, not a boy.

Robbie

I'll get there!

Robbie

Unbelievable! You guys have no idea how upset I am about...it snowed? In Los Angeles?!

I told you Global Warming was bogus!

Robbie

Stop watching Fox News!

No! It's fair and balanced.

Tori

Oh, my God. [she fans herself with her hand] I am so...hot.

Ain't that the truth.

Tori

[feels Jade’s arm] You're not sweaty?

Jade

Sweating is gross, so I don't do it.

Tori

Everyone sweats.

Not Jade.

Robbie

Jade never sweats.

Tori

So what are you? Like, cold blooded?

Jade? Cold blooded? What a surprise.

[laugh]

Jade

[grabs a tube of sunscreen and squirts Rex in the face]

Ah! That witch got sunscreen in my eyes. Help me Rob.

Jade

Just open it!

Beck

Something's blocking the door. (Tori looks through the window)

Tori

Oh, man. Some idiot parked a huge RV right next to us.

Trina

Whatever. Let's just go out the back door.

Beck

There is no back door.

Trina

Well, that's stupid.

Andre

I'm getting very hot now.

Robbie

Would somebody open the window?

Jade

The windows are bulletproof. They don't open.

Oh, thanks a lot, Fat Biscuit.

Jade

What?

I meant the rapper from whom Beck's daddy purchased this vehicle.

Andre

I'm getting hotter.

Tori

Just push on the door.

Beck

I can't push a 7000-pound RV out of the way.

Tori

Then push harder! (they start to argue)

Andre

All right! Let's not bug out. (the argument stops)

Tori

Dude, no one knows we're trapped in this toaster oven.

Andre

Cat just went to the bathroom. She's gonna be back in a few minutes, then she can start becks truck and then pull us forward so we can get out.

Good point.

Jade

Okay. (they sit on the sofa to wait for Cat)

HEY! We won...'cause WE rock.

Cat

Yeah, don't believe everything your daddy says.

Jade

Like when he tells you you're pretty! (Hayley gasps)

Robbie

YEAH!

Testify!

Okay, that's it! You guys are banned from singing here ever again.

Jade

Yeah, like we care.

Beck

Come on, let's get out of here.

André

Let's bail.

(comes out from behind) Okay, I have your nachos...your sliders...and the buffalo nuggets. (puts them on their table separately, then walks off)

André

I say we get out of here...right after we finish this food. (the group angrily sits back at the table) Pass the ranch dressing.

Jade

Here.

Cat

Ketchup!

Beck

Coming at'cha.

Tori

[pretending to eat] How's your eggplant?

Beck

[pretending to eat also] It's fine. How's your spaghetti?

Tori

[stops eating and gets mad] I hate you!

Beck

Why?

Tori

I'm not having spaghetti! I'm having spaghettini!

Beck

What's the difference?

Beck

I forgot.

Tori

I mean, why did we even take a pasta class together?

Sikowitz

And...done!

Beck

We're done?

Tori

But we still have a few more lines.

Sikowitz

No, I meant this is done. (holds up jar)

Andre

What is that?

Sikowitz

Well, it was a jar of cream, but now that I've shaken it vigorously for an hour, it's butter.

Jade

You make your own butter?

Sikowitz

Indeed.

Robbie

Is it good?

Sikowitz

I don't know, I refuse to eat dairy. Tori, Beck, take your seats!

Beck

(to Tori) If he doesn't eat dairy, why would he -

Tori

(holds up hands) I don't know. I don't care.

Sikowitz

Alright, for the last few minutes of class, let's talk about the one act play I'm directing.

Andre

Well?

Sikowitz

Well, what?

Andre

You wanna talk about the one act play you're directing?

Sikowitz

(in a "you talked me into it" tone) All right...First of all, I want to thank you all for auditioning. The two lead roles will be played by...(everyone leans forward, Cat gasps) Andre and Robbie!

Andre

Cool!

Robbie

Hot beef!

Aw, would anyone else like to be my guardian?

Cat

Did any of the rest of us get parts?

Sikowitz

Aw, is a certain little redhead hoping she got a role in teacher's play?

Cat

(giggles) She is!

Sikowitz

Well, she didn't. But, I do need some help with the backstage crew. Jade, Cat, I want you girls on lighting.

Jade

Lighting?

Sikowitz

Yes, you pronounced it perfectly. Tori, I want you to work with Sinjin's team on special effects.

Tori

Okay, but I know like nothing about special effects.

Sinjin

We'll teach you. (they leer at Tori)

Tori

(somewhat disgusted)...Lookin' forward to it.

Cat

So...I heard you went out with Jessica Wolf last night...

Robbie

Oh yes...I did.

Andre

So, how'd it-

Trina

(walking by) Hi, Tori, Tori's friends.

Andre

So, your date with Jessica.

Robbie

AWE-some!

Tori

Uh, not according to her last update on TheSlap.

Robbie

What'd she write?

Tori

It was kinda mean.

Andre

Read it! (Cat laughs)

Tori

"Last night: Worst date ever."

Robbie

Oh. Well, um, maybe she went out with some other guy after she went out with me, and then she wrote that about the other guy.

Tori

"Dude brought a puppet."

A puppet?

Robbie

Oh, she was talking about me.

Robbie

Realio dealio?

Cat

I think that's Spanish for "real deal".

And what's Spanish for dizzy redhead?

Cat

I love the Waggafuffels! [sings] Wagga Wagga Wagga Waggafuffels left and right, Wagga Wagga Waggafuffels day and night! Wagga Wagga Wagga-

Shut up!

Cat

[hurt] Rex told me to shut up!

Sikowitz

Yes, thank you, Rex.

Robbie

Well, it doesn't mean your life is over.

It kinda is.