Beck quotes from Victorious

Jade

I went to the pet store and got us a dog.

Tori

That’s right I’m the family dog uh woof.

Jade

Sikowitz’s would you please tell Tori that dogs walk on 4 legs, not 2 and don’t talk.

Sikowitz

Tori, if you're going to play a dog you have to act like one.

Jade

Uh-oh looks like this dog has bugs in her fur.

Tori

Uh woof.

Ew!

Jade

Aw it's okay. I read on the Internet that coffee works great for getting rid of fur bugs.

Beck

Maybe you shouldn't, uh....

Andre

Jade.

Jade

What's the prob, dog?

Tori

Well, it looked like he was hurting you.

Jade

[suspiciously] Why do you care?

Tori

Because I figured he already suffers enough pain dating you

Jade

[retaliating] You wanna see pain?

Beck

Hey! Why don't we go sit over there? [Both Beck and Jade walk away]

Tori

[reading and holding a script] I don't know.

Robbie

[reading and holding a script] Oh come on!

Tori

Why are you in love with me?

Robbie

Because you're beautiful. Look at your face in the moonlight.

Tori

I can't.

Robbie

You can.

Tori

No, a person can't look at their own face. It's impossible.

Robbie

Then marry me and I'll buy you a thousand mirrors.

Tori

But that's so many!

Robbie

My father is a billionaire. I can give you everything you ever wanted. And I'm very good looking.

Tori

Eh.

Robbie

Think.

And lights. Go.

Tori

[turns to Beck] I don't know.

Beck

It's okay that you don't know.

Tori

But you deserve an answer.

Beck

I can wait. For you, I can wait a thousand years.

Tori

But that's so many!

Jade

[holding a book and texting]

Beck

I know I'm poor. I know that I don't have that much to offer but I do love you.

Tori

[turns away] Because I'm beautiful?

Beck

I don't love you because you're beautiful. [touches Tori's shoulder]

Tori

[turns around]

Beck

You're beautiful because I love you.

Tori

Whoa.

Jade

[rolls her eyes]

Jade

What up with the disco?!

Sinjin

I'm sorry! I hit the wrong thing!

Jade

NO! 15 YEARS AGO, YOUR MOTHER GAVE BIRTH TO THE WRONG THING!!

Cat

...Don't you guys wanna know what that is?

Jade

Is it a transporter from the future that can beam you to another table, because if it is, what button do I push?

Cat

That's so hurtful! [sits down next to Tori]

Tori

You know, you don't always have to be mean to everyone.

Cat

See? Tori's interested in my device!

Tori

I'm really not...

André

[puts his hand on Cat's shoulder] Aw, c'mon, little red, tell us about your doohicky.

Cat

Okay. It's called...the Snowbee! Watch. [presses a button, causing fake snow to fly all over the gang and their food] Wheee! [puts her hands up. Jade presses a button to shut it off] It makes pretend snow!

André

I see that.

Beck

It's all over my tostada.

Tori

And my pizza.

Cat

Well, don't eat it!

Jade

Why?

Cat

Because, it says the fake snow is toxic and can cause abdominal bleeding.

Robbie

Do you guys think that my blog on TheSlap is boring?

Beck

Hey, look, it's that guy over there!

Cat

It IS that guy!

André

Wait up, guy! [everyone walks out from the table except Tori and Robbie]

Jade

There is no guy.

Tori

He's a dead man!

Jade

Beck and I aren't splitting up!

Beck

Well...

Jade

Dude!

Beck

Kidding!

Andre

I use an appropriate amount of ketchup!

Tori

Let's go face this right now! (they all walk out, leaving Cat with her catalog) Cat, are you coming?

Cat

Oh, my god! Underwear that floats!

Beck

Um, do you think maybe you're buying...you know, too many things from Sky Store?

Cat

No! [starts to walk away but turns back] ...Oh, hey, can I borrow some money for lunch?

Beck

Uh, yeah. How much? [takes out his wallet]

Cat

49.95 plus shipping. [Beck looks at her confused]

Jade

Beck and I...are NOT splitsville!

Beck

Well...

Jade

Is there something you wanna talk about?!

Beck

Kidding!

Beck

...You juiced my pizza.

Cat

Why chew what you can drink?

Beck

Come on! Let's just go, it'll be fun.

Jade

No...

Beck

Why not?

Jade

'Cause, I didn't shower this morning and I had tuna fish for lunch, and I-- [stops and looks behind her to see the recorder] There's a dude in the back seat! [the recorder starts to flee from them]

Beck

What the-- hey man, what are you-- What are you doing?! This is MY car! Are you out of your mind?! I--

Jade

[at the same time] Get out! What's wrong with you?! Yeah, you better run or I'm gonna kill you! Can you believe this? [Tori angrily shuts her laptop]

Tori

[feels Jade’s arm] You're not sweaty?

Jade

Sweating is gross, so I don't do it.

Tori

Everyone sweats.

Not Jade.

Robbie

Jade never sweats.

Tori

So what are you? Like, cold blooded?

Jade? Cold blooded? What a surprise.

[laugh]

Jade

[grabs a tube of sunscreen and squirts Rex in the face]

Ah! That witch got sunscreen in my eyes. Help me Rob.

Beck

Man, how long's this heat wave gonna last?

Tori

They say until Tuesday.

Cat

Why would they say that?

Cat

(runs out of trailer) Gotta pee, gotta pee, gotta pee, gotta pee, gotta pee...

Beck

Hurry back.

Cat

(in the distance) Kay-kay!

Jade

She has the bladder of a squirrel.

Andre

Alright. It's starting to get hot in here.

Tori

Yeah. Let's go.

Robbie

Let's hit that beach!

Beck

This way, people. (Beck pushes the door, but it won't open)

Jade

What's wrong?

Beck

I don't know. The door won't open. (Beck pushes the door again, but it won't open. The scene cuts outside. It turns out that another giant RV is parked right next to theirs.)

Trina

That's it, I'm calling her. What's Cat's number?

Jade

I already tried.

Beck

No signal.

Andre

Oh man, I told y'all not to get F-Mobile.

Tori

Well, where's your phone?

Andre

I left it in my pants, and my grandma washed it. All my contacts, gone.