Andre quotes from Victorious

Andre

How could you leave us to take care of that monster?

Andre

Yeah, I said monster!

Andre

WAAAAA! I think I'm gonna have a baby! Why did I just run that marathon?!

Andre

I need "e$h" real bad.

Andre

[after seeing the hotel] This dump is our hotel?

Andre

You better put some ice on that!

Andre

So, none of you people want me to have a pretty girlfriend, is that it? I find myself a Kiko, I make myself a Kiko date, and nobody cares! Well, that's cool. Go on, Cat, tell us what happened. And start from the beginning. Just start with Adam and Eve and go from there!

Andre

How come none of us ever sit on that side of the table? (they all stare at the empty seat)

Andre

So, you just happened to have that wig here in your house?

Tori

Bread mold

Bread mold

Tori

Furry

Furry

Tori

Mushy

Mushy

Tori

Next, the fish mold

Fish mold

Trina

[enters] I am so upset! You won't believe who I got partnered with for the big showcase.

Tori

Who?

Trina

Andre Harris, a 10th grader!

What's the big showcase?

Tori

It's a performance they put on at her school "every" year where they...

Trina

[cutting in] They invite agents and directors and producers and other super powerful people in show business and it's extremely important to me, which is why I am very upset, and [dramatically throws him out] goooooodbyeeeee.

Tori

Hey! Ian and I have a science project due tomorrow. I have to turn in my mold bush.

Trina

No Andrew is coming over and you've got to help us figure out what I'm going to be doing in the big showcase. I DEFINITELY want to sing, (sings off key) How was that?

Tori

Loud!

Trina

Awesome. (doorbell rings) He's here. (she walks to answer the door, Tori follows) STAY! (Trina answers the door) Come in!

Andre

Thanks.

Trina

Tori, that's Andrew

Andre

Andre.

Tori

Hey.

Andre

You go to Hollywood Arts, too?

Tori

Ohh no, I'm not a performer. Just my sister.

Trina

Yep, I've got the talent and she's got the strong teeth. You know, she's never had one cavity.

Tori

I try not to brag about it. (Andre walks to the piano)

Andre

Ooh, nice piano! (plays)

Tori

Oh, my god! You're fantastic!

Trina

He's okay. (Andre sniffs Tori's hand)

Tori

Fish mold. (Andre drops Tori's hand)

Tori

Your grandmother's coming to the big showcase?

Andre

Yeah its going to be the first time she's left the house in six years.

Tori

Why?

Andre

The woman is afraid of everything - people, umbrellas, Rabbis, bikinis, breakfast foods.

Tori

So if she saw a Rabbi in a bikini eating pancakes...

Andre

The woman would burst into flames.

Trina

(off screen) You guys, come on!

Tori

Back to rehearsal.

Andre

Lets go.

Trina

(in a light blue dress) So? What do you think? (turns around) Fabulous, right?

Tori

You really need to wear that just to rehearse?

Trina

A performer needs to feel the part to be the part!

Tori

I thought we talked about not tapping my nose anymore.

Trina

(laughs) Okay, we got the comedy stuff down, so let's start with my song.

Andre

And by your song, I'm guessing you mean the song that I wrote.

Trina

No one cares who wrote the song! (laughs) Now, go. (Andre plays first notes) SLOWER!

Trina

(off-key) You don't have to be afraid to put your dreams in action! You'll never gonna fade...

Tori

Trina?

Tori

I-I think Andre was right! You should let him play the song in a faster tempo!

Trina

No, it has to be a power ballad! So, all the important people can hear my range! And vocal clarity!

Tori

But, I just think -

Trina

No, just take it from "When I make it shine."

Trina

(off-key) When I make it shine! (holds note) Well?

Andre

Do you have any aspirin?

Jade

I went to the pet store and got us a dog.

Tori

That’s right I’m the family dog uh woof.

Jade

Sikowitz’s would you please tell Tori that dogs walk on 4 legs, not 2 and don’t talk.

Sikowitz

Tori, if you're going to play a dog you have to act like one.

Jade

Uh-oh looks like this dog has bugs in her fur.

Tori

Uh woof.

Ew!

Jade

Aw it's okay. I read on the Internet that coffee works great for getting rid of fur bugs.

Beck

Maybe you shouldn't, uh....

Andre

Jade.

Jade

What's the prob, dog?

Tori

Oh, great, so she gets an A- and I get a broken eye and a black nose

Andre

(correcting her) I think you meant--

Tori

I know what I meant.

Cat

My dog has a black nose. It's so cute, like a baby meatball!

Tori

Meatballs are brown.

Cat

YOU'RE SO MEAN TO ME! [angrily takes her drink and leaves the table]

Cat

Hey, Tori!

Tori

Yeah, hey, hi.

Cat

Whatcha doin'?

Tori

Things.

(to Tori) Hey, waddup, girl? You got a numb tongue?

Robbie

(to Rex) Alright, that's a time out, mister.

No, no time out. Don't you put me in this backpack. I'm serious, Rob.

Andre

(enters) Hey, what goes on?

Robbie

We're going to get some iced coffee.

Andre

(to Robbie) I thought caffeine makes you vibrate.

Robbie

Sometimes it's nice.

Tori

Okay birthweek ideas for Trina. Andre you start us off.

Andre

Cheese.

Tori

Cheese?

Andre

Let's not do cheese.

Tori

Robbie?

Robbie

Lotion, or various lotions.

Tori

Gross. Cat?

Cat

Well for my last birthday I thought my parents were going to get me a bike, but then I got home and my brother was cutting off his hair and my mom started yelling and...

Tori

Jade?

Jade

What?

Tori

What should I get Trina for her birthweek?

Jade

Talent.

Sinjin

Jade is so pretty.

Jade

3,2,1.