Cat quotes from Victorious

I know.

Cat

Should we stop?

Or do you want to keep going?

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Oh, he's coming. Don't let him know we were watching.

What's up?

Nothing.

Not a thing.

Cat

We were not watching you kiss that girl.

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Cat

He says he got you the power drill, the clown costume and 12 gallons of blood.

Wow. Where did he get 12 gallons of fake blood?

Cat

You wanted fake blood? I'll go call my brother.

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Beck

Our friend is hallucinating!

An escaped prisoner crashed through our window and was dragged out by Yerbian soldiers!

Cat

And our bed is lumpy.

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...Okay. So before you booked our trip here, you forgot to find out that this is the WORST country on Earth?!

Yeah.

Jade, don't be such a Crabby Cathy.

I have every right to be a Crabby Cat- (they look over at Beck being fawned on by the local girls) Uh, Crabby Cathy is about to get a little bit crabbier.

(Beck shrugs)

Cat

I think those girls like Beck's fluffy American hair.

Clearly. (she advances) Hey! Get your hands off my boyfriend's head!

(The girls hiss at her, she hisses back, and they run frightened)

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Ok, so you're telling me that freak show is a girl?

PPrisoner

What are you looking at?

I'm looking at a big stupid lady in prison, what are you looking at?

PPrisoner

Grrr!

Ohhhh...me make big man-lady mad. (prisoner bangs stick against the fence and walks away) Oooh, good one! Hey, call me, we'll go skirt shopping!

Must you aggravate my fellow prisoners?

Yes, I must.

Man, eating salt is gross!

Not as gross as the prison food they make us eat in here!

Cat

One time, when my brother was in prison, he told the people in charge he was a vegetarian so they gave him special meals. (Tori looks weirded out) Oh wait, that was on an airplane.

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Large scary lady coming toward us! Large scary lady coming!

Great! It's the one you called big and stupid the other day!

Whatever. I'm not scared of this chick.

PPrisoner

So, do I still look big and stupid?

Alright, listen, hot stuff. You better just turn yourself around and walk away from me or- (prisoner shoves Jade to the ground) I like it on the ground.

(Prisoner picks up stick and raises it to hit Jade:

Uh, Tori, Tori!

(Tori stops prisoner and speaks to her in Yerbian)

She's my friend.

(Imitating Yeah Yeah from The Sandlot) Yeah, yeah, we're super close.

PPrisoner

(puts stick under Jade's chin) You are lucky. (says something in Yerbian, drops the stick and walks away)

I didn't need your help.

She would have eaten you!

She wouldn't have liked it. (Cat walks over)

Cat

Hi! Ew, Jade, you're outfit's all dirty.

(sarcastically) Oh, no, now I'll never win the prison beauty pageant!

Wait, they have that?

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SSgrodis

Hello bodys! Who wants mushroom?

No one!

Cat

I love mushrooms!

Cat!

Cat

I hate mushrooms?

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Alright, Tori and Jade. You two are going to play husband and wife.

I'll be the wife.

Yeah, no kidding.

Now, here's your brand new synthetically redheaded baby! (turns chair to show Cat in a baby bonnet)

Cat

Wait, before we start, I was just wondering, I have 3 quest– (Sikowitz puts pacifier in her mouth)

All right, your dialogue should be all friendly and happy, but your subtext is anger, so you must say your happy lines angrily. Action!

Hey, I am so honkin' happy that we got married and had this cute little baby!

Ditto to that! I tell you, nothing warms my cockles more than lookin' at this magical pile of baby here!

Cat

Goo!

Oh, did you hear that "Goo!"?!

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How’s Trina?

Is she alright?

Cat

How’s the ranch house?

Trina's banged up but she's going to be fine. Nothing serious.

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You're all suspects.

RRex

Awww, not again.

Suspects?

For what happened to Trina?

(nods) Uh huh.

Cat

But that was an accident.

Yup. A terrible hilarious accident. That already has 1,700 views!

Posting videos of people's tragedies is just mean and wrong.

Yeah. No, thanks, I really appreciate your input on that.

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(Jade giggles while watching her phone)

Cat

What's so funny?

Are you laughing at that video of Trina getting hurt?

No...I'm laughing at the comments.

You posted it online?

A little bit.

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Okay, hold on. Hold on! There is another person that had a reason to get back at Trina.

Well, it's not me! All I wanna do is go play with Kiko!

Who else had a motive to get back at Trina?

Cat.

(everyone looks at Cat)

Cat

Hi!

Cat?

Cat

Whatie?

Did you cut Trina's harness gimbel?

Cat

No, why would I want to hurt Trina?

Cause of what happened between you two right before the play started.

Well, um...

Aw no, no! Now we gotta hear another version of the story from a unique point of view? (buries his head in a pillow on the couch and cries)

Ok, um... it was an unusually windy day here in Los Angeles...

Get to the point.

Ok, um... Tori had just accidentally whacked Sinjin in the jaw and right about then Cat was helping me with my costume and feeling my muscles when Trina walked by and said...

(during Robbie's flashback) Hey Robbie, why don't you come backstage with me and help me do my makeup... or whatever?

You make me happy.

Cat

(to Trina) Why don't you just get outta here?

Why don't you?