Since you all had such a raucous good time with venereal diseases, I'm sure you'll be thrilled with phase two of Sex Ed. Ladies and gentlemen... [takes animatronic baby out of box] Welcome to Parenthood.
So that's where babies come from.
“My Mother, the Fiend” · Season 2
In this episode: Veronica Mars (3), Logan Echolls (3), Trina Echolls (2), Mac Mackenzie (1), Weevil Navarro (1), Beaver Casablancas (1), Kendall Casablancas (1), Mrs. Hauser (1)
Hi, baby. What took you so long? [she kisses Logan]
Well, if I had known you were throwing yourself at my roommate, [wipes lips] I'd have raced home.
I brought a surprise for you. I figured you and Duncan could try it. Maybe if you boys play nice, you could share or... take turns or something.
Duncan's not into that sort of thing, pumpkin.
No, I'm talking about Dick's Maserati.
Wait a minute. Are you like, sleeping with my little brother? What is he - 13?
Thirteen? He wishes. So, is this your much older sister I've heard nothing about?
Oh, yes, where are my manners? Kendall Casablancas, Trina Echolls. Rode Hard, meet Put Away Wet.
Hmm. I'm guessing she's the wet one. Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got places to be.
Where? Is there a club where you, Dedee Pfeiffer, Joey Travolta, and Melissa Rivers all meet for drinks?
There is. I don't think you'd like it. It's 21 and over. We're hitting an after party at Chuck E. Cheese though, if you're free. Okay, well, I need him in bed by ten p.m. sharp, he's got school tomorrow. [squeezes Logan's cheeks] Night, all. [exits]
Well, the joke's on her - she came over to borrow my video camera. The girl does love a good exit line.
VCVan Clemens
Your sentence is up when each of these files finds its way alphabetically into that cabinet.
And I can't use Magic Right?
You always ask to go to the bathroom during this period.
I know. It's that 12-pack I slam at lunch. It goes right through me.
I hope that tape didn't burn too much when they ripped it off. I hear that can leave some chafing.
You made the wrong play, dawg. I shouldn't let you live for what you pulled.
What I pulled? Hang on, compadre, let's recap. You blasted a shotgun through my car with me inside.
That wasn't me.
You torched my house. Then your masked bandidos played Russian Roulette with my hand. Okay, my math says that you still owe me.
I thought you killed Felix.
Well, I didn't.
Yeah, I pretty much know that now.
Oh, are you waiting for the music to swell before you start the apology?
We have something in common now. We both need to find out who killed Felix.
So what, we team up? Get matching capes? I ride shotgun in the sidecar?
Something like that, but not yet. See, I can't let you leave here looking the way you did when you walked in. Not if I don't want to end up some bald guy with tattoos who rides the school bus.
Well, I hope you don't just expect me to stand here and take it.
Wouldn't be much fun if you did.
So who's going to throw the first - [bell rings, Weevil punches first and they all-out fight]
Pay me in cash, I ask no questions. Just tip me off when you're going public.
You know, I think that might be illegal.
Still... you're admiring my moxie, aren't you?
Something like that.
The truth is, as a baby, you were left in a Neptune High girl's bathroom on prom night twenty-five years ago.
No way. Ashton Kutcher is hiding somewhere, right? Ashton, come out! You can't get me that easy.
Trina, I'm dead serious.
Okay. If you're joking, you really can act. You're a natural.
You were found in a girls' bathroom on prom night.
What? So you mean my mother was like, one of those trashy sluts that dumped me in a garbage can?
I'm... pretty sure Celeste Kane is your mom.
Well, there's worse news you could've given me. They've got billions!
I suppose they do. Um... I was going to use this audition tape to smoke her out, shame her. I was gonna send this video to all the tabloids.
Oh, you're a rascal, Veronica Mars.
Am I? I was thinking I was something else... less flattering.
You know, if we hurry, that tape can make tonight's Entertainment News. Oh, it's the least big Pat can do for me after leaving all those pervy messages on my voicemail.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Veronica Mars pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.