Betty Suarez quotes from Ugly Betty

Daniel

And... where did you sleep?

Betty

In your arms!

Daniel

What?

Betty

Just kidding! On the couch, downstairs.

Daniel

Ah... good. I mean... uh... thanks.

Walter

What? I'm shopping.

Betty

Walter, you do not have a feminine itch!

Betty

Hunter, do you have a girlfriend?

Betty

Um, so you mean you're bisexual?

That's right, babe. If you buy, I'm sexual.

Henry

When the paparazzi are stalking accountants, you know it's bad.

Betty

I know. They were following me, too. And one of them thought my glasses and nose were a disguise.

Claire

It's ridiculous. One DUI, you OD a couple of times, show up naked at a garden party, and suddenly everyone treats you like a child.

Betty

Daniel just wanted to make sure you wouldn't hurt yourself.

Claire

[takes a perfume bottle from Betty] If I wanted to drink this, what could you do to stop me? [Betty knocks the bottle from Claire's hand] Not bad.

Just admiring the inner sanctum of the feckless prince. As the empire dissolves even the cushions on the bone white chaise sags with defeat. Oh my, you are feisty!

Betty

And I bite, too!

Do not underestimate me. You may be the beast that guards the gates, but I've taken down kings, presidents, the electric car. Daniel Meade does not stand a chance against me!

Betty

We get to meet all of our family members and practice our Spanish. Hola comi a tu sobrina.

Ignacio

You just said "I ate your niece."

Betty

There is no one here who cares about changing the inside. They only care about fixing the outside.

Wilhelmina

What's stumpy up to now?

Betty

This concealer here, this isn't gonna change the fact that she doesn't have a house. And this, this eyeliner isn't going to bring back the people you loved. These women have lost everything and there is not enough styling gel in here to change that! [walks off]

You know what, she's right. There's not enough styling gel.

Amanda

Hey, what's different about you? You get your hair cut?

Betty

I'm wearing an eyepatch.

Amanda

You didn't always have that?

Gio

[to a model] Okay, chicken and cheese special on a baguette, no cheese, no chicken, no baguette. I just sold her a plate of lettuce for seven bucks!

Betty

Yes, but that's for breakfast, lunch and dinner, so really it's a bargain!

Betty

So, you're new. What happened to Robert?

Gio

I think he inherited money. Or got arrested. I don't know what happened. There was a lawyer and cash involved.

Christina

I'm going to put your profile on Bachelocity.com.

Betty

Internet dating? Why don't you just chop me into pieces yourself and cut out the middleman?

Betty

Henry, please. Stop... stop being so nice. You're not making this any easier.

Henry

Well, what am I supposed to do?

Betty

I don't know. Kick a puppy, or knock over a midget.

Henry

I think the more considerate term is "little person."

Betty

It's not like I'm writing "Betty loves Henry" all over my notebook.

Daniel

[pointing to her notebook] Um...

Betty

Shut up.

Henry

Pretend you're a hero in an action film.

Betty

Mexicans don't have action heroes, Henry. We have a speedy little mouse.