Pete quotes from Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place

Pete

Do you see me shopping for a ring? Noooo! Thusly, we are living in Hong Kong, waiting for our lease to run out.

Pete

My intent was to accent the axial design with a more modern mininilism-- More modern mimilist-- Sorry! Um, a more minilist-- Well, just new and simple!

Pete

When you're a big, famous surgeon look me up. I'll be the guy in Reno designing trailer parks.

Pete

(to Sharon about Ted) My God! See, first he's got you wearing scarves, then he's got you eating vegetables, next thing you know it's "Come on Sharon, let's smoke some crack".

Pete

I never thought I'd say this, but-- Mr. Bauer makes sense. (Berg looks confused.) Not that we're pods!

Pete

I can't just jump into spontanaeity

Pete

And Lasasso dunks it! Just like a man!... (becomes uncomfortable) Of course, I don't mean to imply that women aren't as good as men, they're just slower!... It's like a handicap, but not a bad one! Hey, one day maybe we'll even have a woman president! We almost had a black president! (by this point Sharon is screaming at the radio for him to shut up while Berg is plastered right up against a window trying to get Pete to stop.)

Pete

Aren’t ex girlfriends supposed to drop off the face of the earth and if they can’t do that at least be really miserable. Or get really fat.

Pete

[imitating Robin Leach] What would you do if you were young and beautiful and had a big bottle of champagne? You'd share it with your closest friends...and that's just what they did.

Pete

This century's gonna suck!

Pete

(Lifting a detatched arm of a mannequin) This was no boating accident

Pete

Ashley, what's that ugly thing on your shoulders?

Pete

Berg, everything I have to say to you, I can say with one finger.

Pete

What the hell are you doing in my bed?

Pete

Well you can't sleep here Berg. People talk as it is.